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He chuckled and allowed me to kiss him, probing into my mouth, but then he pulled away. I narrowed my eyes at him. He just grinned. “I’m starving. If you want sex, you have to feed me.”
Slater laughed as he passed us. I flipped him the bird. Xavier ignored him. “So?” he asked. “What’s it going to be?”
I hummed and grabbed his hand in mine. “I’ll feed you. But then you’re mine for the rest of the night.”
His shoulder brushed mine as we walked off the beach and onto the boardwalk that led over the sand dunes.
Xavier gently squeezed my hand in his, giving me a feeling of safety I hadn’t known in months. Years, even. Not really since I’d left home and joined the military.
“You’ve got yourself a deal,” he told me.
10
Xavier
Harlow was walking his fingers up and down my thigh as he slowly chewed his food, his eyes glued to my phone screen. The service was slow tonight due to how packed the restaurant was, so we were watching a movie on my phone with the volume turned all the way up. Subtitles were playing along the bottom just in case one of the groups near us got rowdy, which had already happened more times than I could count.
I never thought I’d see the day that Harlow and I could just sit and enjoy each other’s company. I for sure thought that our past together would be too much for either of us to move past—my guilt and Harlow’s hatred. But now, I was left wondering if Harlow had ever hated me. Even when he’d seen me again for the first time, he’d just seemedtired. Not upset. Not full of hate.
Just bone-deep exhausted.
I’d been the only one upset because I hadn’t been sure if I could work alongside him knowing the guilt would eat me alive. He hadn’t deserved a single thing I’d done or said to him in high school, yet because I was desperate to be in control of something when my home life was such shit, I’d targeted Harlow just to make myself feel better.
And Harlow didn’t even fault me for it.
A loud explosion sounded on the screen during a surprisingly quiet moment in the restaurant. I looked at the screen, but then, Harlow knocked his plate off the table as he lurched off his seat, his eyes wild and panicked. I quickly jumped up as well right when one of the waitresses yelled at him for his carelessness.
Harlow shook his head, gritting his teeth, blinking his eyes, but one look into those blue depths, and I knew he wasn’t in the room with us—with me.
Fuck. Fuck.Fuck! He was having a flashback in the middle of the day. In the middle of a crowded, busy restaurant where everything could go wrong if even one person panicked and called the police.
“Harlow?” I gripped his hands, but he flung them off, falling to his knees with a blood-curdling scream. I sank to my knees beside him, tears brimming my eyes. My heart was racing in my chest, aching for him and whatever he was reliving in his mind. I pulled my phone out and dialed Colwyn’s number, not knowing who else might be able to help.
I didn’t know what to do, and it was killing me.
I tugged Harlow into my arms on the dirty floor, clenching him when he began to sob, still lost in whatever was happening inside his head.
“Hello?” Colwyn asked in surprise. “Xavier?”
Harlow screamed again. I sobbed, curling my body over his. “Colwyn, I don’t know what to do,” I cried, rocking Harlow in my arms.
Everyone was staring. I could feel their gazes on my back, but no one came close to help. I didn’t dare look up. I understood why they were cautious about coming closer, but God, couldn’t they see Harlow needed help? His mind was torturing him.
And it was ripping me the fuck apart inside.
“I’m coming,” Colwyn told me. “Tell me where you are, Xavier.”
“Henry’s,” I choked out.
“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” he promised.
He ended the call. “Carl,” Harlow sobbed. “Not you. God, not you!” he shouted, fighting something, his muscles straining. I tightened my hold on him so he wouldn’t lash out and accidentally hurt anyone.
“I’m here,” I choked out, wishing he could hear me. “I’m right here, Harlow. It’s going to be okay, baby.”
“Help him!” Harlow yelled, shattering my heart into tiny, little pieces.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my tears soaking his scalp. “I wish I could help you,” I whispered, feeling as broken as Harlow no doubt really was. “I’m here, baby.”
