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Fuck, I never wanted to go through that kind of fear again. I had half a mind to punch him in his beautiful face when he walked through the door.
* * *
The front dooropened late that evening. I looked up from the cup of coffee in front of me to watch Harlow walk through the door. He was pale, his eyes bloodshot. Dark circles colored the skin beneath his eyes, and he looked tired as hell.
Immediately, I was on my feet, reaching for him. He sank into my embrace, his face buried in the curve of my neck. His arms wound around my torso, and he clung to the back of my shirt, squeezing me like he was afraid I would disappear into thin air if he let me go.
“I already made sure he ate,” Colwyn told me. “He needs a lot of rest after today.” I wanted to ask so many questions. What happened today? Where did they go? Why did Harlow look like such a mess—even worse than when he’d left this morning? Why didn’t anyone tell me Harlow was leaving?
But I bit my tongue.
I nodded once at Colwyn as I ran my hand over Harlow’s scalp. His hair was slowly growing out, a little longer than the buzz cut he seemed to always keep. Colwyn nodded once at me and disappeared out the door, quietly shutting it behind him.
“Let me lock the door,” I quietly told Harlow as I ran my hand over his back. “Then, we’ll get you in the shower and get you to bed.”
He nodded and reluctantly released me, his arms slowly sliding from around my waist. I pressed a kiss to his temple before walking to the front door and flipping the lock. Then, I grabbed Harlow’s hand in mine and led him to his room and straight to the shower. He stayed silent as I turned the water on, adjusting the temperature until it was just right.
“I’m going to undress you. Is that okay?”
He just silently nodded again. I quickly stripped him out of his clothes, ignoring the worry pressing into every bit of my skin. I just pressed soothing kisses to his skin. His cock was hard as it sprang from his jeans, but neither of us paid it any mind. Now wasn’t the time for anything sexual. Harlow needed comfort.
I took my time bathing him, hoping I was able to convey how much I loved and cared for him through my tender touches. He slowly relaxed the more my soapy hands ran over his skin until his eyes were half-lidded, sleepiness tugging at his brain.
“Let’s get you dried off,” I murmured as I shut the water off. He obediently stepped out of the shower onto the mat, and after I wrapped a towel around my waist, I worked on getting him dried off.
Neither of us bothered with clothes as we tumbled into his bed. Harlow wrapped his body around mine, clinging to me, his legs tangled with mine. His warm breaths fanned my skin, quickly evening out until he was fast asleep with his head resting on my chest, one leg pinning me to the mattress, his other tangled between mine, his arms wrapped tightly around me.
I didn’t sleep worth a fuck.
* * *
“You look like shit,”Harlow muttered when he finally rolled out of bed the next morning. For the first time since we’d been sleeping together, he hadn’t had a flashback, which I was thankful for. But I finally gave up on sleep around five A.M. and slipped out of bed, coming to drown myself in coffee. I was going to need it if I had any hope of functioning as a normal human being today.
I just shrugged and handed him a cup of coffee—black, just like he preferred it. He took it from me before gripping my chin and pulling my lips to his in a soft kiss. “Come sit me with on the patio?”
I nodded and followed him outside. He tugged me down onto the lounger between his legs, and I relaxed back against him, my eyes shutting as the warm sun bathed over my skin.
“You’re off today, right?”
“Yeah,” I grunted, taking a sip of my coffee. Even if I wasn’t, there was no way in hell I would have gone into work today. One, I wouldn’t have been worth a fuck on no sleep. And two, Ineededto know what in the hell happened yesterday. I’d been stewing over it all damn night.
Harlow walked his fingers across my chest and then down my abs. “Good. I wanted to talk about where I disappeared to yesterday. I owe you an explanation. I remember how worried you looked when I got home.”
I sighed and swallowed down the rest of my coffee before setting it on the table beside the lounger. “Harlow, you don’t owe me shit.” But fuck, I really did want to know.
Harlow grunted in disagreement. “We’re in this together, Xavier, remember?” He gripped my chin and angled my head so our eyes could meet. “I’m not keeping shit from you. We’re not doing that. You hear me?”
I nodded. He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine before releasing my chin. I relaxed my head against his chest and closed my eyes. His arms wrapped around my chest, pinning me to him. But I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
“Colwyn took me to see Carl’s grave,” Harlow rumbled. I didn’t react—didn’t want to spook him—but hell if I wasn’t shocked by his admission. “I cried a lot. Fucking yelled. Spent some time with his wife and kids, and we had lunch together. It—” He blew out a harsh breath. “It helped, Xavier,” he said quietly. “For the first time since that fucking accident, I canbreathe.”
I brushed my hands over his arms, and he snagged one of them, bringing it up to his lips to press tender kisses to my palm and fingers. “I love you,” he rasped.
I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. “I love you, too,” I promised. “But God, don’t ever scare me like that again.”
Harlow tightened his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. “Never again. I swear, Xavier.” He brushed his lips to my temple. “Will you take a nap? I’ll hold you, and I won’t go anywhere unless I tell you. I promise. I’ll never disappear like that again, baby.”
I nodded, letting my eyes slide shut again. He ran his hands over my chest in a soothing motion, and before long, sleep took me, my mind finally able to rest enough to allow me to fall asleep.
