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I was grateful for that.
Sure, Norah liked to talk and tell her stories, but she wasn’t overbearing. And when she started on her ‘when I was trekking in Peru’ stories, I could easily tune her out.
Like now.
We’d climbed up the escarpment, Paul had brought some picnic blankets and snacks, so while they sat around chatting, I set my telescope up.
I pretended it took a little longer than it really did, selfishly taking in the night sky by myself while I had the chance. I zeroed in on Saturn again, given it was the perfect time of the year to see it from here. It was clear and bright and very beautiful.
“Kari? And Marit?” I gestured to the telescope. “Want to see something amazing?”
They came over, Marit looking first. She gasped and turned her wide eyes to me, then she looked back in the eyepiece. Then she let Kari have a turn, saying something to her in Norwegian, and Kari’s excitement matched her friend’s.
Then Norah had a turn, and Paul stood back, smiling. “Want to see?” I asked him.
His warm smile and soft eyes made my insides curl. “Maybe later.”
Oh.
Was that... was that an invitation?
I wasn’t sure.
“What is your favourite?” Marit asked. She waved her hand across the sky. “Of all the things.”
“The Orion Nebula,” I answered immediately.
I could feel Paul’s gaze on me, but I avoided his eye contact at all costs.
“Can you show us?” she asked, her eyes as wide as her smile.
“Sure. It might take me a little while to get the focus right.” I’d never looked at it from this exact spot before, after all. “Give me a few minutes?”
They went back to the picnic blankets, lit only by a few muted camping lanterns. The wind was picking up, a cool and welcome reprieve. And I put my eye back to the telescope and set my sights on the north-western sky.
“The Orion Nebula, huh?” Paul asked quietly. I hadn’t heard him come up beside me. He offered me a canister of water. I took it and had a sip. “The tattoo on your chest.”
My eyes met his in the dark.
He recognised that?
“How did you know what it was?”
“I didn’t. Not when I first saw it. But when you said it was your favourite.” He shrugged, looking out into the vast darkness below. “I knew it was something star related. The purples and pinks, with the geometrical lines.”
I held the eyepiece of my telescope. “Take a look,” I murmured.
He stepped in close so he could look through the eyepiece. I didn’t step back. I let him into my personal space, feeling the heat of his skin close to mine.
He looked at the nebula, then he looked at me. He glanced down to my chest, above my heart, to where the tattoo was under my shirt. “Your tattoo. It looks just like it,” he whispered.
“It was born from a cataclysmic disaster. It has a black hole in its centre, holding it all together with a disproportionate gravitational pull. It pulls everything into its heart and decimates it.” My voice hitched, so I swallowed so I could speak. “Like me.”
He didn’t say anything, but even I could see the sadness on his face in the dark.
I let out a slow breath, trying to steady my voice. “It’s light-years away. Pretty to look at. Complex, misunderstood, and completely unreachable. And it’s destroying itself.” My nose burned with unshed tears. “Like me.”
Paul shook his head. “Derek.” He breathed my name, so soft and gentle it almost carried away on the breeze.
