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“It’s theMare Tranquillitatis,” I replied. “Or the Sea of Tranquillity.”
Paul looked at me then. “That’s a pretty name.”
“It is. That’s me, though. Still focused on things so far out of reach that I can’t see what’s right in front of me.”
Paul’s gaze flashed with recognition. With hurt.
“Yeah, look, Derek. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologise. You were right.”
He turned to the view across the valley and sighed. “The same could be said about me. I was so focused on what was on the horizon, I didn’t look at what was passing me by.”
“But you’re happy now,” I asked, though it really wasn’t a question.
“I mean, sure.”
“With your storm guy?”
Paul’s head turned so fast I thought I heard his neck crack. “What?”
“Oh, Paul,” Marit said. “There you are. Can I ask you something? Do you mind? With the shower.” She imitated turning the tap on. “The... handle. Is no water.”
“Ah, yes,” Paul said. “The tap. I know what you’re going to ask.” He stepped off my deck and headed toward her tent. “There’s a valve... you have to be careful or there’ll be a water fountain out of your sink.”
They disappeared into her tent and I went back to looking at outer space. Past the moon, slowly zooming in on the unreachable stars. Things were so much easier up there. The emptiness, the vastness.
The silence.
Where things weren’t complicated.
Where the loneliness didn’t hurt.
* * *
Dinner was quiet.Well, they all talked but I stuck to myself, like I usually did, and afterwards, Norah asked me if I was going stargazing again, up to the ridgeline like I’d mentioned the day before.
“Sure,” I said. Then glanced to Paul. “If that’s okay?”
I kept forgetting this was his business and I was a guest here. I needed to ask if it was okay first.
“Yeah,” he said with a shrug. “Can’t see why not.”
“You two should come,” Norah said to Marit and Kari. “The view through the telescope is amazing.”
Oh goodie. Another group activity.
I repressed a sigh. I didn’t mind them coming, I really didn’t. I appreciated their enthusiasm for astronomy. It was nice that they were excited about it instead of rolling their eyes or mocking me, like some people did back home.
It was just something I normally did by myself.
It was always just me and the stars, the way I liked it.
It was personal and private.
Unless it was just me and Paul. I wouldn’t have minded that.
But we were all going, apparently. And that was okay. I actually liked this group. There was no loudmouth, no raging extroverts that needed noise, or anyone who complained about every little thing.
