AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I drop my focus to the energetic puppies galavanting around us, stroking my fingers over their silky fur.
“So, about Davis…” my best friend eventually says.
“Yeah?” I peer up at her pitifully.
“Are you ever gonna be honest and tell me how you’rereallyholding up?” She arches an eyebrow, challenging me to lie to her. Again.
“I’m fine,” I blurt out, not convincing her one bit.
Meghan frowns at me. “Don’t tell me that you’re fine. Obviously, you’re not.”
I drop my skull against the wall behind me and sigh. “It’s not that I’m trying to hide anything from you. I just know you have a lot going on. It doesn’t feel right to dump any more burdens on your back.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Are you serious, Alana?” She grabs my shoulder and gives me a hard shake that makes my head bobble. “You’re my best friend. How many times have I cried on your shoulder? How many times have I showed up in your kitchen, venting my own frustrations? Remember that time Cash and I broke up?” She shudders mentioning the couple’s brief split about a year ago.
“Yeah,” I say softly.
“I was a wreck. Remember?!”
I flinch. “You were,” I concede.
“And you were there, supporting me. Giving me the best advice and helping with my compulsive cleaning and making sure I didn’t drive all the way out to his penthouse in Chicago wearing my military-patterned pleather catsuit to give him a piece of my mind.”
I shake my head at the memory. “I couldn’t let you do it, girl. I couldn’t. That catsuit was atrocious.”
“Well, thank you.” She snorts a laugh. “You havealwaysbeen there for me. Yet you constantly deprive me of the privilege of being there for you. Because you’re always busy trying to bury your feelings.”
“The privilege?” I arch a brow at her.
“Yes, theprivilege. You think you’re a burden to everyone. Like you have to handle everything on your own because you don’t want to inconvenience anyone. But you are not an inconvenience. You are my friend. Loving you and being in your life is not a burden.”
A sudden flood of emotions tackles my heart, knocking it flat on the floor. I’d never looked at our friendship from that angle. “I don’t want to be weak,” I whisper.
“Alana—it’smeyou’re talking to. I have had a front row seat to all the ups and downs of your life. I know that you’re anything but weak. You are stronger and more resilient than anyone I know.” She squeezes my hand. “Now, open up and tell me what’sreallygoing on with you.”
When she says that, my bottom lip begins to wobble, and it all comes pouring out.
“I’ve been trying really hard not to break down. But it’s been awful, Megs,” I moan. I start spewing nonsense like a broken fire hydrant. “It’s like that time a few months ago when you were trying to cut out sugar in the name of one of your horrible pre-wedding diets. And I volunteered to join in and support you. By the eighth day, I was doing all right. I realized I could survive this. Hell, I could maybe even become a better person through it all.” I wipe my tears with my fists. “But then one day, I was at The Wildberry and someone mixed up my unsweetened latte order with someone else’scappa-frappa-froufrou-cinnoand—boom—I had my first taste of real sugar after several weeks without. And, Hello, Wake Up Call. In that moment, I realized I loved sugar with all my heart and soul, and that I sincerely couldn’t go one more day without it.No more sugar-free diets for me.” I’m practically breathless.
Meghan rubs my back. “Oh, sweetie…”
“All that long-winded rambling to say…I don’t want to be without Davis. My body wants a piece of that man more than it even craves sugar.And my heart…Oh, my fucking heart.” I find myself clutching my aching chest.
She puts an arm around me and I drop my head to her shoulder and I suddenly realize how much I’ve needed someone to lean on. Speaking honestly with someone I love and trust about this is the catharsis I didn’t realize I needed.
“Alana, you put so much energy into fighting for everyone else. You need to know that you’re worth fighting for, too. There are people in this world who will go to bat for you, no matter the circumstances. I am one of those people.” She gives me a squeeze. “And I strongly believe that Davis is one of those people, too.”
I whimper. “I thought I was over him, Megs…”
“But you’re not.”
I hold back a sob as the truth hits me. “I’m not…”
“This doesn’t have to be the end, Al. Not if you don’t want it to be. That man loves you to this day.”
We stay like that for a while, with my bestie’s arm around me while my wild thoughts gallivant inside my mind, just like the energetic puppies.
After a bit, she shifts around on her bum. “My ass bones are starting to go numb from sitting on this cold, hard floor.”
