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The day after the wedding was postponed, the rest of the wedding party stayed in Crescent Harbor to enjoy a big brunch together. Some of the couples even stayed an extra night. I skipped it all and drove home early.
“Sorry to be a party pooper.” I shrug. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”
At first, I thought I just needed a full night’s sleep in my own bed. But even now that I’m back home, back to my old routine, I’m realizing that something must be wrong with me.‘Cause I’m still not feeling it.
Whatever the hell that means.
“So anything new on the job front?” I ask my cousin. Now that we’re back home, I’m guessing it’s time for him to decide on his next career move.
He sighs. “I’ve started looking into a few job leads but honestly, there aren’t many options here in town.” He drags a hand down his face. “I don’t know. I might have to explore my options outside of Honey Hill. Which is the last thing I want to do.”
“Shit, man. That seems like a big decision.” I lean against the counter opposite him.
“It is. Everything I love is here. My house. My parents. My crazy ass sisters. And Grammy needs me here at the bakery, too.” He exhales roughly. “I…I don’t know what to do.”
“I can’t even imagine.” I empathize with the guy. “On the bright side, a change of scenery might be good for your love life,” I point out. “To put some space between you and Zara?”
“Ziggy seems to think so,” he says with a bitter laugh. “According to her, I’ve been stuck in my comfort zone for a long time and it’s been slowly killing me. She says it might be time to do something radical.”
“That makes sense, I guess.”
“I won’t lie—I’m anxious about making any big moves. But at the same time, I don’t want to be that sucker who stays stuck his whole life—working a dead-end job and pining after some woman who doesn’t love him, only to end up dying a lonely, bitter man.”
When he says that, I shudder hard. “Shit—I feel that in my soul.”
I enjoy my job at the sheriff’s department. My coworkers respect me and I feel appreciated by the town. Yet I’m starting to feel like I’ve outgrown the position, like I can do more.
And as for the woman I’m pining after? Alana has made it painfully clear that we don’t have a future together.
What the hell am I doing with my life? Looks like I could stand to benefit from a radical change just as much as my cousin.
“Mason, is that you, dearie?” Our grandmother’s voice calls as she ambles into the kitchen.
“Hey Grammy.” My cousin greets the old lady with a kiss to the cheek.
“Can you help me open the cash register?” She drapes an arm around his back and smiles sheepishly. “You know I hate counting change.”
Mason and I exchange a glance.
That’s what Grammy always says. But by now, we all know that she struggles with telling the coins apart. We did buy her a cash register with visually accessible features but she’d still prefer to avoid counting cash whenever she can.
“No problem, Grams.” Mason claps me on the shoulder.
The two of them head for the other side of the bakery, arm in arm, leaving me all alone with my thoughts.
I’ve been working for the last four years to get over Alana. I’ve been working on finding a way to move on after my divorce.But spending three whole nights with my ex-wife in the most intimate of ways? Having to pretend that we were still happily fucking married? It definitely set me back a couple years.
Alana seemed to think that our all-night rabbit-humping sessions would give us all the closure we could ever need, but I didn’t get mine. Iwishedfor it to be true, but it wasn’t. Instead, all that time we spent together seems to have just made the pain of losing her worse.
I try to shut it down.I try to block her out. But my stupid brain in my stupid head won’t let it go.
Does Alana have any regrets about last weekend? Did she get whatever closure she was after? In some weird way, does she miss me, too?
I keep myself busy until I’m done packing away the stock. Tired and sweaty, I finally shut the door to Grammy’s walk-in storage area, everything organized on the sturdy shelves, just the way my fussy grandmother likes it.
I exit the pantry right as the woman slams an extra tall coffee to-go cup down on the kitchen counter.
“I know I can’t see all that well, but you seem extra grumpy today,” she says to me.
