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A naked woman is tumbling off the shelf and free-falling toward me. Arms and legs spread wide. Mouth forming a gaping ‘O’.
My rattling shriek shakes the walls.
On reflex, I stumble backward against the hood of my car. The sex doll landssplat!on top of me, a pointed plastic nipple jabbing me in the forehead.
Fucking Mason and that fucking blowup doll!
Forget being his friend. Forget being feminine and nice. I’m going to kill him. I’m…going…to kill…him.
I grab the doll by the leg and storm inside the house. I kick off my shoes by the door and march straight down the hall. But before I can give my roommate a piece of my mind, I hear voices—femalevoices—filtering down the hallway.
“You know the cute new guy who works at the gas station?” One girl is asking.
“Kevin? The one with the purple contact lenses and the tongue ring?” Another voice asks excitedly.
“Yes!” the first girl says. “That guy! Anyway, he keeps ‘liking’ every one of my Instagram stories. But every time I see him in person, he sort of just brushes me off. I don’t know what to do.”
I creep toward the kitchen, trying to be as discreet as possible. I peek inside.
The only person in the kitchen is Mason. He’s leaned over the dishwasher with a small towel in hand and a great big frown on his face as he listens to the girls chatter back and forth over the phone.
My heart squeezes and I’m distracted from how mad I am. He’s talking to his younger sisters, isn’t he?
I try not to leer at his perfectly muscular body but he’s wearing a pair of low-slung gym shorts hugging his delicious glutes and one of those white sleeveless undershirt thingies showing off his big, corded arms. Damn, he looks good.
Before he can get a word out, a third girl chimes in. “His name is Kevin? That man ishawt! If I were you, I’d slide my ass right into his DMs!”
“Heiscute!” A fourth girl speaks up. “But I don’t know how I feel about making the first move.”
“Um, excuse me! He has a tongue ring!” girl number one reminds the rest.
Mason snatches his phone off the counter and scowls down at the screen. “Nobody will be sliding into thisKevin’sDMs. You hear me?” he says, laying down the law. “We’ve talked about this. If a guy is worthy of you, he’ll put in the work. He won’t just sprinkle a few breadcrumbs and leave it up to you to follow the trail. He’ll make it clear what he wants, and he’ll go after it. And he won’t let anything stop him until he gets it.”
His sister fake-sobs. “I know, I know. But he has a tongue ring, Mason. Can’t we make an exception for a guy with a tongue ring?”
Mason roars up at the ceiling and all the girls break out laughing.
I cover my mouth with my palm to keep from laughing, too.
“You little brats really know how to push my buttons, don’t you?” He shakes his head in frustration.
“We do. But only because it’s so easy. And so much fun.”
I shake my head, recognizing myself in the way these girls are pushing their older brother’s buttons. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have a gang of sisters to help me wage war against my own brothers growing up. That really would have been fun.
When Mason goes to slide some plastic containers into a cupboard, he glimpses me over his shoulder. His face lights up with a grin that makes my tummy tumble.
“Look, I’ve got to go,” he tells the chirpy girls on the phone.
His sisters sing a chorus of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘I love yous’.
“I love you, too,” Mason tells them. “And be good. Don’t make me have to come back home just to kick Kevin’s ass.”
There’s more taunting and giggling as he hits a button to end the call. He ignores it all and turns his attention to me.
I saunter into the room, hugging his ugly-ass doll to my body. I press my cheek to hers and innocently bat my eyes. “Aww. You give such good relationship advice. Your latex girlfriend is so lucky to have a man like you who treats her right.”
Murder.
