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“I never said that!” Kyle balked.
“FIFTY!”
“SEVENTY-FIVE!”
“Do I hear a hundred?” the mayor asked openly, smiling happily.
“NOOOO?!” he yelped in shock, realizing this was getting completely out of control quickly every time he opened his mouth.
“ONE HUNDRED!” a woman said from the front row, not looking at Kyle, and her face was almost as ruddy with embarrassment as his was.
Her short cropped brown hair ended at her chin, and she was standing there looking like she’d just come from a funeral, wearing all black and dressed modestly despite the warmth of the day.
“There we go…” the mayor encouraged. “Did I mention that this young man, Kyle Rimes, is right at home getting on his hands and knees easily…”
“I scuttle up the fire engine’s ladder, sheesh woman! Where did you get all of that?” Kyle hissed, looking at the crowd. “I know this is for charity – and I’m happy to participate, but I’m…this… this isn’t what you are thinking, ladies…”
“Is he married?” someone yelled out – and the mayor looked at him.
“No,” Kyle muttered, knowing that despite what he said, he had lost this fight long before it ever started. “I’m single.”
“Do you do woodwork or paint things?” the woman with the short hair asked nervously, catching his attention again as a ripple went through the crowd at his words. He was getting a mental picture of himself having to work around a house, shirtless, wearing a blond wig and tossing his hair like some cover of an old romance book cover model.
“Yeah, I’m pretty good with a circular saw and a jig…” Kyle admitted, swallowing hard as he tried to avoid looking at Mrs. Kendall who was literally fanning herself, made eye contact with him, and then pointed openly at Kyle… mouthing at him.
‘You’re mine, sweet Kyle’.
Kyle cringed, crossing himself openly.
“TWO HUNDRED!” a voice cried out – and he saw the woman with the short hair had bid again, still refusing to look at him.
“What?!”
“Take off your jacket, mister…” the mayor hissed angrily.
“Look – I’ll throw in two hundred to end the stupid auction right now,” Kyle said angrily, feeling nausea roll in his stomach at the thought of Mrs. Kendall possibly winning him. The old woman was a terror, and he was afraid she would really cross the line this time! “Get me off this auction block and stop this insanity. I’m not exactly what you are wanting up here…”
“SOLD!” the mayor hollered, banging her gavel noisily. “Mr. Kyle Rimes of the Flirt’s Battalion…
“First Street!” Kyle interrupted pointedly.
“… Is yours for one entire twenty-four-hour period, Miss Reyna Mattingly,” the mayor continued speaking, smiling at the crowd – and grabbing Kyle by the arm before he walked away.
“Mr. Rimes – you owe the charity two hundred dollars, remember?”
He glared at her, feeling practically man-handled and discomforted as he realized that his time had just been auctioned off like a haunch of meat to a butcher.
Nodding, he dug out his wallet and quickly handed over everything he’d withdrawn from the ATM the day before, intending to get a few things for an apartment he was hoping to lease very soon, that now would just have to wait until next payday…
“Can I have a list of the stupid rules for this farce?” he muttered – and was handed a sheet of paper with the details lined out for him. “Thanks.”
“Thankyou, Mr. Rimes…” the mayor said in a saccharine voice. “Ms. Mattingly? If you’ll pay the cashier – there is a small picnic bench where you can discuss your upcoming ‘date’…
“Meeting,” Kyle corrected as the woman walked up.
“Meeting,” the winner of the auction agreed coolly, still not looking at him as she dug out her wallet and paid the cashier. “I’ll need a receipt for taxes – please, and thank you.”
“Of course, Miss Mattingly.”
