AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I give her arm one last squeeze as Ryder moves up to talk to her.
I take the chance to separate from the group, heading in the direction of the surly twin I haven’t stopped butting heads with since I met him.
“You’re good for her,” he says as soon as I reach him. “She needs more women as powerful as she is surrounding her. Lifting her up.” He never looks down at me, keeping his eyes on her. No longer trying to hide the fact he’s watching.
“She needs you too,” I respond, following suit as I stand by his side, watching my men as they all comfort Rachel in their own ways.
“She’s never needed me,” he whispers gruffly.
I stay quiet for a moment. I think I’ve finally touched on what has kept them apart all these years. “I think you’re wrong,” I reason. “I think she’s always needed you.” I think Alec did too, but I can’t bring myself to say that. Not aloud as we gather here to mourn his death. Not when it’s too late for him to rebuild what was lost with his twin. It isn’t too late for him and Rachel though.
“Ah, Little bug,” he taunts me with his favorite nickname for me. “We are once again of differing opinions.”
“Well, Dark and Douchey, at least some things never change,” I jest back.
He smiles at me for a half a second before it falls so spectacularly, I can practically hear it shatter on the ground.
He looks at his feet as his whole body slumps forward in defeat. “It just isn’t the same hearing you call me that without Alec’s snort of amusement.”
I swallow around the thickening of my throat. “No matter how many times I said it, it always got him.”
“He was always like that,” he huffs. “When he found something he liked, he never stopped.”
We stay silent for several moments, watching the others as they greet people. With every tight smile Rachel fades more and more right before my eyes.
“I know you don’t agree with me,” I start again. He holds his breath expectantly. “But what’s worse?” I ask. “If you comfort her and I’m wrong and she doesn’t need you? Or if you don’t and you’re wrong and she’s left alone with her debilitating grief?”
His breathing is ragged as my question shakes him. We got off to a rough start, but I’ve come to respect him. Learned to understand the way he thinks. He’d let the world burn if it meant keeping Rachel safe. It’s a notion I can relate to.
“She’s not alone,” he reasons, convincing himself more than me.
“Isn’t she?” I counter. “Look again,” I challenge him to see the same scene I am. “Just because you’re surrounded by people doesn’t mean you’re not alone. Just because people mean well, doesn’t mean they actually help. Just because it looks like she’s holding it together, doesn’t mean she is.”
I don’t know what mental roadblock he has about him and Rachel, but I know it’s only hurting the both of them. Right now, it’s the last thing either one of them needs. When he looks pained but still doesn’t move, I push him a little further. “Alec was one of us. We all are feeling the pain of his loss, but we aren’t crippled by it.”
I think back to the moment we realized it all had gone so wrong. When we realized he was gone. That he couldn’t have possibly survived.
The way Rachel crumbled in on herself in my arms as I held her back. It reminds me of the moment that I lost it all. The moment that still occasionally haunts my thoughts, where I crave the smoke filling my lungs and never stopping as everything fades to black.
“I held her back with all my strength as she screamed and tried to follow him into that building,” I tell Nic. He wasn’t there. He didn’t see the fervent need in her to risk it all, to end it all if she had to. “She was ready to save him from the flames or join him in ashes.”
His heartbreak is palpable as he squeezes his fists tightly. “I held her back with everything I had,” I repeat, my voice breaking. “I know what it’s like to shatter. I felt it happen to Rachel the moment she gave up and collapsed in my arms. I felt half her heart being burned from her chest as we watched the building fall in on itself.” I knock my shoulder against his. “She’s barely hanging on. Don’t let her float away. Go to her.”
He doesn’t look back as he storms toward her, scaring the crowd away from her before he even reaches them. Apprehension lines Rachel’s face but I wave the guys off and they all withdraw, Ian grabbing Jade as he goes.
The moment Nic grabs Rachel in his arms she falls apart. Sobbing into his chest as he picks her up and carries her into the church away from prying eyes. I watch as they leave. She looks like a small, fragile child in his arms.
The service hasn’t even started yet, and it already feels like too much. I don’t know how any of us are going to survive the speeches on Alec. Reminding us all of what we’ve lost.
“You did good,” Declan praises in my ear as he slides to my side.
“They both needed it.”
He nods along. “We all did.” I guess he’s right. We all needed for Rachel to get one small win today. One small act to remind us all it isn’t over. The fight isn’t done yet.
We’re The Bleeding Roses. We thrive in the chaos, revel in the blood, love with a fierceness, and excel when we have a vendetta.
The war’s not over, it’s just getting started.
