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My mouth drops open and I bite down on my knuckles to hide my expression. Eli and Ash look as shocked as I feel, with maybe a bit less smugness. Brielle, on the other hand, blushes furiously and throws her hands up in the air.
“I’m done with this conversation. We can’t even talk without fighting anymore.” She sighs, running her hands through her hair as she looks around the room for the exit.
“Don’t go,” Ash begs. I’ve never heard him so open and vulnerable. I want to be mad, want to blame him for this feeling of rejection sitting like a rock in the pit of my stomach once more. But I can’t. If I were to open my mouth, I would sound just the same.
“Stop being so stubborn and it wouldn’t be so hard,” I argue. I can’t bear to have gone through all that for her to leave, but I’ve never been as good as Ash. Can’t show my vulnerability as well as he always has been able to.
“Stop being so overbearing and maybe I wouldn’t have to repeat myself so many times,” she yells back.
Elias pushes off the wall, rolling up his sleeves as he stalks toward her. “You know us better than to think we could ever ignore the possibility of you being hurt.”
She lifts her chin in the air defiantly. “As opposed to bullying me and trying to get me kicked out of school? Spreading rumors like wildfire to ruin my reputation? No one else can hurt me unless it’s the four of you, right?”
All four of us flinch at her words as if she’s struck us. She might as well have. All of a sudden, I have doubts about every decision I’ve made since the beginning of the year. Do we even have the right to be upset? To worry about her? To still want to protect her?
“You started it,” Eli reminds her and the rest of us. It would be more convincing if his voice didn’t waver.
“No,” she argues, stepping into him. “I tried to end it.”
He backs her up into the wall, putting his hands on either side of her head to cage her in. “We weren’t ready for it to end.”
She shakes her head at him, a sad smile playing on her lips. “All good things come to an end.”
“No,” he disagrees. “Not like this. Not us.” I hold my breath as her features soften when she looks at each of us. Her bright blue eyes shining with such a deep sadness that I’ve never seen on her before.
“Then don’t think of it as an end then,” she concedes. “Think of it as a new beginning.”
He scoffs and my chest aches. “One without you in it?”
She ducks her head under his arm. “For now.” Crushing disappointment and a flare of hope spark in my blood. I’m not sure of anything anymore other than I’ve never been more confused in my life than I have been since those metal cuffs were locked around my wrists.
“I’m leaving now,” she says, heading for the door. “I have a date to get ready for. Please don’t kidnap me again. Wasn’t a fan.” She almost sounds like her old self, but there’s an edge of bitterness that drives through my heart. Worse than any knife could ever make me bleed.
She leaves the room in a rush, sucking the air out of it with her. Leaving us strung tighter than a bowstring, dancing on the razor blade edge of falling into full insanity. The four of us stay silent, trading looks. None of us are sure what the next step is. Though, they didn’t know I had planned on taking her in the first place.
I was hoping for a different outcome. Not yet another memory of her back as she leaves me behind.
“That didn’t go well,” Hudson proclaims, throwing his head back against the couch cushions. I flop down beside him, hanging my head. Elias still stands where Bri left him, his forehead pressed against the wall. Ash moves beside him, gripping his bicep in comfort. Eli flinches under his touch, but Ash ignores him as he turns to me.
“Did you really think it would?” he asks with a pointed stare in my direction.
“It wasn’t my only plan,” I admit, rubbing my hand over my beard. Their attention snaps to me and I slowly pull out the journal from my pocket. Probably not my shining moment, but I’m pretty sure that sums up this semester so far. “I took this from Bri’s desk.” I throw the book on the coffee table. Hudson is quick to pick it up. I tilt my head back to look at the ceiling. “She was writing in it when I picked her up. I think it’s her journal.”
“You mean kidnapped her and then stole her diary?” Ashton deadpans, unimpressed.
I groan. I can’t even be mad at him. It’s a pretty shitty thing to do, even by my standards. “You’re the one who put ideas in my head, okay?” I defend. “I knew there was a good chance she wasn’t going to tell us shit. I took matters into my own hands.”
“Literally.” Elias smirks. He’s just as big of an asshole as I am. How come Ash doesn’t give him the death stare?
We all stare at each other before turning to look at the book. Hudson clicks his tongue. “So are we reading this, or…?”
“It’s probably the only way we will get any real answers,” Elias points out.
Ashton huffs. “It’s a violation of her privacy.”
“So is sticking your head up her dress,” Eli taunts. Damn. He went there.
Ash raises his brows at him in challenge. “We both liked what I found waiting for me under her dress. Can you say the same for the journal?”
