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His eyes meet mine and the tears that shine there make something snap inside of me. We’ve always been close but never really affectionate with each other, it was always Brielle who comforted us when we needed it. But she’s not here any longer and Ash needs more than a few platitudes.
“Is it wrong that I want it to?” His desperation breaks something in me.
I get on my feet and pull Ash to my chest, offering comfort the only way I can think of. I wrap my arms around him and he hesitates for only a second before his body sags against mine.
“It’s not wrong,” I console him, “but I don’t think it’s going to help you either.”
“Maybe,” he relents as he leans his forehead against my shoulder and for the first time since I sat down to send the article, the tightness in my chest starts to ease. We stay like that for several long moments, just breathing in Brielle’s absence and taking comfort in what we have planned for her. I don’t know what to do next, what to say. I just barely know I need to be there for him.
I sigh as I pull away from him and focus back on the email. My anger against the girl who once owned my heart renewed, all hesitation or doubts gone. I meet Ash’s eyes, my finger resting over the mousepad. As soon as he gives me a clipped nod, I double click and the email is sent.
No going back now.
By the end of the weekend, the name Brielle Montgomery will once again be on everyone’s lips. Ash closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before turning his back on me and walking out the door. I sigh as I stare at his back, the lie I told him still burning in the back of my throat.
It did hurt to hit send, knowing the pain it’s going to cause her, but there’s also a sick satisfaction that comes with it. Every lash against her mars my own skin but it’s become a pain I crave. A twisted joy that comes from still being able to affect her in some way. I’ll just have to keep hurting her until I can’t feel it anymore.
Until my lie to Ashton is no longer a lie.
ChapterTen
I kneweverything was too quiet.
It was all going just a little too well. Even Carson has been on his best behavior recently. There’s been no sign of the same dark side I saw in him after the flyers were spread all over the school. I’ve made sure to play by all his rules, to take extra care with the act we put on in front of people, and it seems to appease him even with the guys still here.
They continue to act as if I don’t exist. Never making eye contact, or even being in the same place at the same time besides our classes. I make my way out of our lab, a bitterness settling in my gut. Classes were supposed to be my safe haven, but that dream came to an abrupt end by the end of the first week when I realized I didn’t have a single class alone. No. In each and every class I have at least one of them. Something they have done on purpose, no doubt.
Ash and Eli trudge a safe distance behind me even now as we make our way to what was supposed to be my favorite class. It’s the only one I share with Shelby and I was looking forward to at least having a friend in one class. But Econ was quickly ruined by the fact that all four of them share the class with us.
Shelby is just as uncomfortable as I am thanks to Zaiden’s near constant attempts at flirting with her and reminding her of just how good it was between them. A reminder that never fails to make me want to punch him in the dick. His amazingly god gifted, talented dick according to him.
The one thing I’ve gained out of this whole shit show is a true friend though. Most girls would have jumped ship the first moment they realized it meant jumping onto one of the guys’ dicks. But Shelby has been steadfast in her loyalty to me, and a damn good friend.
Our stolen moments in the dorm room are my only moments of peace and joy that can be found in this place. They remind me of the girl time Vanessa and I always made a point to have even when we were surrounded by boys.
I miss her almost as much as I miss the guys. My only comfort is that we still talk daily and Facetime a few times a week. Even she adores Shelby. It’s clear from our conversations though that she had no idea the guys were showing up here and is still in the dark about the shit they’ve pulled.
I pull out my phone to text her as I make my way to Econ, ignoring Ash and Eli as thoroughly as they’re ignoring me. There was a guilty and uneasy look on Ash’s face the entirety of our first class together. One that made my own anxiety spark deep in my gut. Even without him ever looking my way, I know that expression had something to do with me. How could it not?
I type out a message to Vanessa. I still haven’t confessed anything to her, despite her prodding, and I don’t plan to now. But at least texting her helps me ignore the obvious whispers that rise and fall with every step I take down the hallway. It would be impossible to miss the pointed fingers and judgmental stares, but I do my best to act unaffected. A Montgomery never bows their head in shame, never cowers to bullies or peer pressure.
It’s clear the guys have made their next move, but I refuse to let it shake me. Especially as I make my way to the class with all of them. I just need to make it through this last class before I can enjoy another weekend. I won’t let them see my fear of just what they’ve done and what it’ll mean for me by the end of the day.
I never want them to realize just how much their pranks are affecting me. What each new dig will cost me in ways they could never imagine. Regardless of how much they hate me now, they would never be okay with how far Carson pushed me after the flyers. They’d never forgive themselves if they realized the mark they all caught glimpses of was left against my will in retaliation for what they did.
A shiver runs down my spine as the whispers and stares only grow, despite my lack of reaction. Maybe because of it. Whatever they’ve done now, I fear the consequences will be even worse than last week.
I shove my fear away as I open the door to our Econ class. I quickly scan the rows but none of the guys are here, not that my relief will last since two of them are just a few steps behind me. I spot Shelby halfway up in our normal seats and slip my phone away as I make my way to her.
She beams at me as I sit down next to her, but her smile is strained. Her voice comes out high pitched as she calls her hello. I raise a brow at her, but she keeps rambling as if she didn’t notice. “Thank god it’s almost the weekend, right? We should totally do the same thing as last weekend and just lock ourselves away in our dorm room. Just us. Yeah, just the two of us!”
I sit back, kind of impressed that she hasn’t even stopped to take a breath yet. Her eyes widen and without looking I know Eli and Ash have made their way into the room. Their very presence makes my body sing as if we haven’t quite figured out that they’re the root of our current destruction.
“Can you teach me how to curl my hair this weekend, you think?” Shelby continues, talking even faster now as she tries her hardest not to look over my shoulder. “You promised that you would, but we never got the chance to last weekend. Probably too much wine and ice cream,” she laughs nervously.
I put my hand on her arm and give her a small smile. “It’s okay,” I whisper, only for her to hear. She squeezes her eyes shut but nods, despite her obvious wariness of what the rest of this class will bring.
I turn to look over my shoulder just to confirm my suspicions. Unlike every other class we’ve had together since our first day, Ash and Eli have chosen the seats right behind us today. A sure sign of trouble, even if the whispers and Shelby’s anxiety hadn’t already given it away.
