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Bastard. Absolute fucking bastard. My vision blurs as anger and jealousy consume me. Before I realize what I am doing, I am shoving him hard. Pushing him backwards, forcing him back inside of the gym until his body collides with a wall and he lets out a huff at the impact.
“You stay away from Shelby, I already warned you.” I poke my finger into his chest, and when I move to drop it away he snatches it up in his hand and tugs me towards him. I fall against his chest as we both pant in our anger, our faces so close our breath interchanges. It makes me light headed and dizzy with euphoria. A type of high I could only ever get from Zaiden Hollis. The only man capable of infuriating me to my wit’s end. I missed this.
“Yeah? And how many times did I warn you about what a snake Crawford is? Didn’t stop you from getting on your knees for him though, did it?” His presence is intoxicating, but his words keep me focused on his mouth. They feel like a slap even as they draw me closer to him. I don’t want to think about it, don’t want to think about Carson. How stupid I was to even get trapped in this position. He’s right, he did warn me countless times, little one’s here and there that I always brushed off as Z hating everyone but the five of us.
There is something about him.
Be careful around him.
Don’t take a drink from him.
Don’t be alone with him.
Did he really see all the things I never thought to? And if so, how is he so blind to it now? How can he look at me and see nothing? Nothing but betrayal, nothing but the lie I am being forced to live. Why hasn’t he tried harder, looked harder, just fucking done something other than presume I wanted nothing to do with them? I know it’s what I wanted, what I needed to protect him, protect all of them, but how could he believe me so easily?
Rage pulses through me at the thought. How fucking dare he stand there and act like he cares for me, when all he did was push me away at the first sign of trouble.
I let my body mold into his as my anger simmers over the edge to tease him. “What’s the matter, jealous that Carson finally took something you never did?”
Z grips my bicep and squeezes. “Watch your fucking mouth, Brielle.” His hand tightens but not enough to hurt me, only enough to keep me in my place. That’s not enough for me. I want his fingers to dig into the delicate flesh, deepen the bruises already left there. The taunting edge of his anger has dropped away as a possessive glare drives out the hate in his eyes.
It’s such a beautiful sight I could cry. He still wants me even if he hates that he does. I just have to push him a little farther. “Or what, Z? I thought you liked my smart mouth?”
He cracks his neck and a flutter of butterflies takes up in my stomach. “Maybe when you weren't being such a bitch,” he sneers and I grin wickedly at the tightening of his grip. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. I lean into the pressure.
“Hmm,” I click my tongue. “I think you like me like this. I can see it in your eyes. Instead of having to be too careful not to break me, you’re aching to do exactly that. My supposed betrayal just gave you reason enough to not feel guilty for your most base desires. Just admit it.” He wants this as much as I do. I can feel the need radiating out from his body in palpable waves. It’s written right there in the lines of tension in his body for me to read.
The need to control me. The desire to possess me. To leave his marks on me and brand me with his touch so I’m forced to continue thinking about him even after he leaves me behind. My hands shake with how badly I want it. So when I wake up in a few hours and it hurts to swallow, I can think of Zaiden, remember his taste. And when it hurts to crawl out of bed, it’s his touch that flashes through my mind. This moment where we are both fully locked into each other. A moment where I at least feel like myself.
“You did betray us. Don’t try to act like you didn’t.” His words drip like poison from his razor sharp tongue, but at least they aren’t cold. He can’t pretend to be cold with me any longer.
I shrug like it isn’t a big deal. “Just going to ignore everything else I said? Still too scared to admit the truth? How will you ever get what you so desperately want when you’re too much of a coward to even admit it to yourself?”
His grip tightens and he yanks me around, changing our positions until he slams me against the wall. That’s it, Baby. I can’t help but grin even as my body spasms with pain. Z’s too enraged to notice as he leans down into my face, trapping me against the wall with his body.
“I already told you to watch your fucking mouth, Brielle. When the hell did you get so mouthy?”
I laugh at his frustration. Each breath feels like agony and yet I can’t stop. I think I may have finally lost it. A piece of my sanity has withered away and I don’t think I’m ever getting it back. “Don’t you like it?” I tease with a knowing grin. I love the look on his face as he wars with himself.
“I liked you better as our sunshine girl,” he mutters, more to himself than to me. I don’t like the air of defeat that starts to weigh him down. That isn’t what I want. I want to piss him off. Before I can say anything he looks me dead in the eyes. “Now you don’t know when to keep your mouth shut.”
My grin is back. “You could try and make me,” I taunt. His eyes narrow but I’m not done. “You’d have to let go of that control you’re struggling to hold onto so tightly though. Have to lose your head and force me to comply. Give my mouth something better to do.” His eyes flare with desire and I know that’s exactly what he wants. The way his gaze lingers on my lips. The way he keeps focusing all his statements around my mouth. “Why not let go, Z? Losing control is what you do best anyways.”
“You’re such a fucking bitch, Bri,” he growls, crowding into my space even further. “Do you think I won’t? You want to keep mouthing off and I will give it something better to do.”
My hands run up the hard planes of his chest as I bring my mouth to his ear. “Do you want to punish me for it? Force me to my knees for you in a way that you’ve never had the balls to do before? Simply just take it from me?” You’re so close, Baby. So close to giving me what I need. I just need you to snap.
His hands grip my waist, leaning into me until I am staring up into his burning green eyes that are turning darker by the second. His breaths are coming in quick and fast as he holds me hostage in his arms and licks his lips, his gaze dropping to my mouth as I wet my own. I could stay here all day transfixed under his glare, feel at home in it, disappear into it. But right now I don’t want to disappear. I don’t want his lips to take me away and let me forget what is going on.
“Do it,” I taunt one last time. A flicker of surprise crosses his stare and for a moment I think he might stop, be repulsed by my need for him, but then he cracks his neck again. A change overtaking him as he lets his control go and all of his features darken. This is a Zaiden I have never seen before, one that he always kept hidden from me and I never knew I needed so badly.
He smirks as he pushes me harshly and I fall to my knees in front of him. The contact with the hard floors sends shooting pains up my legs and ricochets through my body so hard I can barely breathe through the pain. My vision blurs and it’s so similar to the night before and yet I feel entirely different. The steady pulse of fear has turned into an erratic thrumming of excitement. The pain that only caused shame now fuels the heat in my center. The venom in Carson’s tone made me cower but that same caustic edge in Z’s sparks a light in my soul that has struggled to keep burning. Every memory, every haunting thought, it’s all driven out by the lust and anger raging in Zaiden’s eyes as he stares down at me.
“If you’re so desperate for my cock, Sunshine, all you had to do was ask.” I know his words are meant as a provocation, but his husky tone slides down my spine and warms the blood in my veins. How often have I imagined dropping to my knees for him, how he would sound, how he would taste? I awoke many nights sweaty and breathless as his craving green eyes chased me from slumber.
You’d think I would feel cheap, used, like the absolute nothing that Carson made me feel when he put me in the same position, but I don’t. Down here I can’t see the bruises that Carson left on my body, can’t feel my tears as I begged for him to stop, can’t hear my cries of pain as he rained punches and kicks down on me. Down here I am free, even just for a moment, even trapped under Z’s lethal gaze. I don’t feel like a perfectly polished princess, I feel like a queen ready to take her court.
I press my palm over the growing erection in his sweatpants and he hisses as I stare up at him and smile. “And here I thought you’d want me to beg for it.”
