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He is staring at Eli, who in return is glancing nervously at Ash, as Z begrudgingly mutters, “Something happened.” Eli’s head snaps towards him, guilt clear on his face now, but before he can question him, Zaiden continues, “I had a run in with Brielle at the gym on Sunday.” He swipes a hand across the facial hair on his cheek, and for once I think he actually looks nervous. I know almost everything about Zaiden Hollis, and one of those things is that he is not someone who ever gets nervous.
What the fuck is going on?
Ash’s eyes widen in shock. “What kind of run in?”
Zaiden opens his mouth to answer him but it’s Eli who grits through his teeth, “Not here.”
He doesn’t even give him a chance to respond, just grabs his things, nods for Ash to do the same, and starts moving towards the door. Zaiden leans down to grab his own things, but I move to block his way, desperate to understand what is going on, but when he looks at me all I see is shame before he nudges me out the way and follows after Eli and Ash.
On Tuesdays we usually head and grab lunch after class, maybe crack open a few beers, or watch a game on TV, we definitely don’t head across campus in a silent, brewing rage. The unspoken demand between us all right now is that whatever information we are about to share, needs to be done in our own private space with only the four of us listening.
By the time we make it back to the house I’m so on edge I feel like I could play five football games and still not burn off all this extra energy. It’s maddening, infuriating, and as we gather round the kitchen island, Ash and Eli on one side, Z and I on the other, we descend into even quieter silence. I am ready to explode.
“Someone fucking start talking!”
All three of them flinch at the harsh tone of my voice, a tone they are not used to hearing, and again I watch Eli closely, waiting for him to speak, but the voice that cuts through the tension comes from beside me.
“Brielle and I had an encounter on Sunday morning,” he starts, dragging out his words. “We had a fight.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, like he is explaining something simple, but things with Brielle aren’t simple anymore. They had a fight, big deal, we have done nothing but fight with her since the second we arrived on campus, why does it feel different now?
Eli is deathly silent and Ash just repeats his words back to him. “You had an encounter, no, a fight.” Z nods slowly, seeming relieved, like he thinks this is going to be the end of the discussion, like it’s no big deal.
“And then what?” I snap.
Z finally meets my eye and shrugs again. “We fought, it was no big deal.” I watch as his jaw twitches ever so slightly, his only tell.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Zaiden.” I can feel Ash and Eli staring at the two of us and I know they see him blink at the use of his name. “You might be able to bullshit everyone else with this cool mask of indifference, but you can’t fool me, you never could, and you certainly can’t fool Brielle.” I don’t know why I am including her in this, why I feel like my words are having her back, but at this moment it feels right.
Zaide finally relents. “Fine, you want the details? Brielle cornered me in the gym, we fought, and then she dropped to her knees and sucked my dick, you happy?”
The bomb explodes so calmly that the casualties are barely felt. Never have I felt such rage towards one of my friends, especially Zaiden. We have always been close, bonded by our shared love of football and girls, but right now if what I heard is true, I feel like smashing his head into the countertop.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” I grit through my teeth.
I flick my stare back towards the other two, wondering if they are hearing what I think I am hearing, and they look just as surprised as I do. Eli’s mouth is hanging open, he doesn’t look in control of his emotions right now, but it’s Ash who is staring Z down. His knuckles white from where he is fisting his fingers around the counter, his gaze locked in on Zaiden after what he just admitted.
“You were fighting with her and she just dropped to her knees?” Ash questions, the reality of it sounding even more ridiculous the more I hear it. I just can’t picture it. Brielle has always been too good for us. I know that better than anyone. There has to be more to it. Images from the past, Z’s different hookups I’ve witnessed over the years all morphing into Brielle’s face. His hand gripping her long blonde hair in a fist. A simmering rage boils over as all the blood rushes to my face.
He tenses under Ash’s assessment. “Don’t make this into something it isn’t, I didn’t force her to do shit, she was being a bitch and it’s like she was trying to goad me. Next thing I know, she is dropping to her knees. What was I gonna do, say no?”
I snort, sick of this attitude of his. His guilt, his shame, it’s all written over his face and in his body language. His fingers tap against the side of his leg, out of their line of view but I can clearly see it. This fucker is just trying to downplay whatever the fuck happened between those two. “Oh, let’s all bow down to Zaiden fucking Hollis, a hero for letting girls suck his cock.” I can’t imagine Brielle begging for it. Like he did her some fucking grand favor. I’ve seen his dick, it sure isn’t gold plated or sugar coated. Don’t know why the fuck he thinks it’s so special. How he could possibly believe Brielle was desperate enough for it to seek him out.
Ash ignores my outburst, continuing his line of questions as Eli remains stoic beside him. “Brielle was being a bitch so you let her suck your cock. That’s the story you are telling us?”
“It’s not a fucking story!” he snaps. “It’s what happened.” Each word out of his mouth only fuels my rage more. Makes it harder and harder to hold back the vitriol that’s coating my tongue.
“You’re a fucking snake,” I mutter under my breath and he turns towards me and pushes me in the chest. I crack my neck as I step back into him.
“What did you say?”
In slow motion, I play my hands on his chest and I push him back. “You heard me. You’re a fucking snake!” I slam my hands down against his chest and he stumbles backwards. “What happened to you hating her?”Shove.“What happened to us staying away from her?”Smack.“What happened to her being the one who ripped us apart!”Thud.
His back hits the wall and a wild look enters his eyes. I barely recognize him as he shoves me back, pushing his own chest out as he tries to make me back up.“She is the one who ripped us apart!” He yells to get his point across but his voice cracks as he emphasizes the she in his statement.
I refuse to back up. We may be close in height, but I still have an inch over him. “What and you thanked her by shoving your cock down her throat? How noble of you!” I snap at him.
He shakes his head at me. “You know what? Fuck you, Hudson. It’s not my fault she sought me out instead of you, next time I’ll be sure to send her your way,” he sneers as he uses his shoulder to push his way past me. I clench my fists at my sides, unable to turn around and look him in the eye.
“You know what, I’m fucking done, I can’t listen to anymore.” This sickness weighs down in my gut is like nothing I have ever felt, I need to get out of here.
