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I push past Zaiden, harder than necessary, and move to leave the kitchen. More emotions than I can even begin to decipher crash through me.
Fuck Zaiden for changing the rules. And fuck Brielle for still having a hold on us after everything.
I’m done. I can’t listen to it anymore. I turn my back on all three of them, something that never would have happened only a few months ago. Guilt gnaws in my gut, but I’m not strong enough to hear any more about this. The images of what Brielle must have looked like while Z fucked her throat are already far too strong and about to bring me to my knees.
I never once thought that knowing his tastes, having seen them for myself, would ever come back to bite me in the ass so spectacularly. I can’t even manage to try and stay to see how the others are reacting. With each passing second my throat constricts tighter around the air that was easy to breathe before this conversation.
I walk away and don’t look back, just like she did.
ChapterTwenty-Four
The tensionin the room is thick as Hudson storms away from us and I see a flash of regret on Zaiden’s face before he hides it and turns back to me and Ash. I want to be angry at him, to scold him, judge him, hate him, but how are his actions any different from my own?
We all agreed on a plan when we came here, agreed what needed to be done, and agreed that Brielle was enemy number one. How did our wires get so crossed already? How did Brielle go from freezing us out, to inviting us back in to play?
I open my mouth to say something to him, but he raises his hand and cuts me off. “Save me the self serving bullshit,” he sneers and I raise my brows at him. “We all know any single one of us wouldn’t have pushed her away.” He opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of water, crushing it in his hand before he even opens it.
“Why do I get the feeling you did more than just fail to push her away?” I force my voice to remain even, indifferent. Cold. I can see the disapproving look in Ash’s eyes, but I can only deal with one problem at a time. Dropping my truth bomb right now would only cause more chaos. I roll my shoulders back, uncomfortable with the weight in his gaze as he watches my interaction with Zaide.
Water splashes on the ground around Zaiden’s feet as he rolls his eyes at me. “Did you want a play by play so you can replay it tonight with it being your hand that pushes her down to her knees? Your dick that hits the back of her throat as her blue eyes water and look up at you, begging for more?”
Yes.
I force an even breath out of my lungs, belying the rising desire to punch my friend in his stupid ass face. I adjust my glasses and sigh again, resting a hand on Ash’s arm to temper the tension I can feel radiating off of him. “We do need to talk about this, Z.” The familiar nickname feeling like tar on my tongue as I force it out.
“There’s nothing to talk about. She’s just another faceless whore in the line of many.” His tone is caustic but even I can hear the lie in them. The waver in his voice as he continues, “Just another mouth.”
I squeeze my hand around Ash’s bicep, holding him back as he attempts to make a move towards Zaide. Fuck. This is just getting worse by the second.
“Stop being a dick because you regret where you stuck yours,” I snap. “You know damn well why we need to talk about this. Get over your fucking feelings and start fixing this.” I point to the door that Hudson walked out of.
His eyes widen in surprise and I feel Ash relax marginally under my grip. Zaide’s head dips as his gaze hits the floor and he gives a subtle nod, leaving the half empty water bottle on the counter before he shuffles out of the kitchen to bring Hud back to us.
Ash and I watch him leave, silence descending once more as I try to quiet the rage now building inside of me, except instead of being an angry rage, it’s a jealous one. I don’t want to feel jealous over Zaiden and Brielle, I don’t want to feel anything for Brielle, but I do and that’s always been the problem.
Fuck. How did everything get so goddamn complicated?
The front door slams.
“Do you?”
I furrow my brows as I turn back to Ashton, dropping my hand away from his bicep, guilt and shame crawling up my spine. “Do I what?”
“Regret kissing Brielle?” he explains.
I click my tongue as I push my glasses up on my nose. “Does it matter?” I hedge.
He shrugs, his eyes never wavering from my face. His uncanny ability to read me like a book has never unnerved me quite as much as it does now. “You just seemed so sure that Z regretted it and was acting out to us because of it.” He pauses, looking over his shoulder. He cocks his head as he turns back to me. “Just wondering if that’s why you lied to them?”
“I didn’t lie to them,” I defend, clasping my hands together behind my back. My eyes catch on the water on the floor that Zaide left. I move away from Ashton and grab a roll of paper towels to start cleaning it up.
He watches me silently, moving with me across the kitchen without ever offering to help.
“I just didn’t want to make things explode and make it even worse,” I attempt to explain as I begin to wipe up the water. He falls into a chair at my side, still silent.
I clear my throat as I toss the wet paper towels into the trash can and move over to the sink to wash my hands. After drying my hands I look up to still find his eyes on me. I break. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” I finally demand.
He taps his fingers against the counter where he sits. “Just waiting for you to give me something other than bullshit.”
