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It’s different, but I like it.
“You want Emily to put you to bed?”
I’m surprised by my own words. Putting Teddy to bed is nothing new for me—I’ve been doing it his whole life. It ranks up there in the top few things I love doing with him, along with waking him up and taking him to the beach to feed the seagulls. So it shocks me when I so willingly hand over a chance at it to Emily.
She smiles at Teddy, who gives a nod then suddenly launches himself into her arms.
Emily laughs and starts running Teddy through the routine I just taught her how to do. She does everything perfectly, from helping him change to brushing his teeth to picking out a book to read.
But then she does something that surprises me, because it wasn’t in my directions. She sits in the rocking chair that hasn’t really been used since Teddy was a newborn. She tucks him into her and starts reading with him snuggled against her body, rocking slowly back and forth.
It makes me uncomfortable, and I can’t really tell why. Maybe it's because I should be the one rocking him to sleep. Or maybe it's because it feels like an intimate moment I’m intruding on, which is ridiculous because he’s my kid.
But if I really think it through, it makes me uncomfortable to see Emily rocking my son because I’ve never seen anyone else do it before. My parents live on the other side of the country, and they don’t have a rocking chair in their house. The only people who had access to that chair were me and Melody, and it startles me to realize she didn’t rock him. Not once. At least not any time I can remember.
I step out of the room while she finishes up the book and tucks him in, choosing to head to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Emily has been working for me for almost three weeks, and I constantly feel more mentally and emotionally exhausted than I did before she was here.
And now she’s about to move in.
I let out a sigh after draining the glass then place it in the sink to wash tomorrow.
“He’s down,” I hear from behind me. “I was surprised how quickly he fell asleep.” She laughs. “The Keifers’ kids were much more ornery at that age.”
I smile a little as I turn to take her in where she stands.
“Well, you haven’t dealt with his nighttime wakeups yet. That’ll come soon enough, and I’m sure you’ll regret ever agreeing to the live-in part of the job.”
She laughs a bit then adjusts the bag I’m now seeing is slung over her shoulder.
“So I’ll bring my things with me tomorrow?” she says, confirming what we said yesterday after hammering out a new employment agreement for her.
I nod. “Yeah. Bring your stuff and you can get all settled in. We’ll start your new responsibilities on Monday?”
Emily bobs her head in agreement then turns to head out the door.
“It’s going to be an adjustment, having you here,” I say, my words coming out in a rush, almost like I knew if I didn’t say them quickly, I wouldn’t say them at all.
Her body tenses up, her eyes widening as she turns to look at me.
“But I know it will be for the best. Teddy’s mom was the breadwinner and I was here with him all the time, but I can’t be that for him anymore, so it will be a huge help to know someone who is dedicated to his well-being is giving him the attention I can’t.” I take a step forward and make sure I’m looking her right in the eyes. “I’m sorry for the times I’ve made you feel unwelcome, and I apologize in advance for any weirdness as we get used to this new arrangement. I’m really glad you’re here, Emily.”
The smile that lights up her face is less mouth and more eyes, and I’m beginning to learn that for Emily, that’s one of the best compliments I can hope for. That sparkle is showing me how how she truly feels, more than a smile ever could.
“Thanks, Colton,” she finally says.
Then she gives me a wave and heads through the living room and out the front door.
I stand there longer than I should, watching her go, and once she’s gone, I head to my office, knowing I need to get my head on straight.
chapter ten
emily
When I show up on Friday, I leave my things in the car, deciding I’ll settle in later.
I’m equal parts excited and nervous about moving into the Palmer house, and the best way to handle it today is to wait until later to handle it at all.
