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I shrug a shoulder. “It’s up to you. But honestly, it’ll take me two seconds to unpack, so having a purpose for being here tonight rather than just hanging out in this new room…” My words trail off and I shrug again.
Part of me really does want to spend tonight unpacking and reading a new paranormal romance I just got at the library, but I think the best way to transition is for me to just start working. Put to work the routine Colton taught me last night so it gets hammered in quickly.
“I mean, my new contract says I work late on Fridays so you can have a weekend night out, so…”
“No, that makes sense. Yeah.”
I smile. “Great.”
“Yeah. Okay, then I’m gonna give August a call and…”
I raise my hands. “You don’t have to tell me. Just do whatever you want, whether that’s here or out or…whatever.”
Colton nods, but if I’m honest, he looks like he has no idea what I just said to him.
“Okay…alright. Then I’ll just…” He hitches a thumb in the direction of his room and turns to head that way.
Glancing over the bannister, I see that Teddy has made himself comfortable on the couch, his tiny hands clicking happily on the AppleTV remote to find something else to watch.
It’s amazing to me the way kids navigate technology these days.
“Hey Radical Randy, you wanna go to the park?”
Teddy’s face flies up to look at mine and he bursts into a giggle.
“I’m Teddy!” he enthuses. “Not Randy.”
“Oh, that’s right. Teddy.”
He giggles again then races to the foot of the stairs, holding on to the railing as he slowly climbs his way up.
“Let’s get you changed and then we’ll head out, mister!”
I’m excited to create new routines with Teddy, but there’s also an undercurrent of trepidation I feel at the same time.
Colton’s interactions with me have been a lot more kind and transparent over the past few days, which I so appreciate. But at the same time, I’m not sure I trust the way those interactions have made me feel.
The pitter-patters in my chest. The way I have to turn away when he’s sweet with his son. The way my stomach swoops when he doles out that infrequent but overwhelmingly handsome smile of his.
I literally only have two things in this world right now of any meaning: the savings account I’ve been building since I was old enough to open one on my own, and my personal reputation.
Allowing my mind to head off on these bunny trails about Colton Palmer will surely end with a hit to at least one of those things, if not both of them.
***
That night, I’m still up, staring at the ceiling when Colton gets back from wherever he went this evening. I intentionally left my door cracked open so I could hear Teddy if there was an issue, and my ears strain to hear Colton as he moves through the house. Through the living room, his soft footfalls up the stairs, the way he stops at Teddy’s room before moving down the hall to his own.
And then there’s the sound of pipes echoing lightly through the house as he washes his face or takes a shower.
Shaking my head, I roll over. The last thing I need to think about is Colton in the shower.
But of course, the minute I tell myself not to, it’s all I can envision.
The man is one fine specimen, and I allow myself to give in to the bit of imagination that’s stitching together the little pieces of him I’ve seen since I started working here a few weeks ago. His strong arms. His lean hips. His firm, thick ass. All that tan skin sluiced with water as he washes up after a night out.
I clench my eyes shut, trying to remind myself that this is the father of the kid I’m nannying and it would be crazy stupid of me to begin thinking about him in any way other than professionally. But, of course, that doesn’t accomplish anything, so I get up and creep slowly out of my room and down to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had problems falling asleep in new environments. It always takes me a few weeks to feel fully comfortable and at home. It’s probably why I’ve been feeling so exhausted over the past two weeks, trying to get enough sleep at the motel and then at August’s place.
