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“Good. I figured we were thinking about this the same, but I just wanted to be certain.”
“We are absolutely on the same page about that. I don’t ever want you to worry that it’s expected of you, or that your job is on the line. I personally see your nanny job as completely separate from everything else.”
She nods. “Good.”
“Which is what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Emily watches as I cross closer to her bed, taking a seat on the edge.
“I also don’t want this to become something to you that it can’t actually become.”
One of her eyebrows rises high, and I grin at the adorable look of confusion on her face.
“Meaning…”
“Meaning, I don’t want to hurt you. I would love for things to continue physically between us, but I also don’t want you to assume this will…become more. You were right to say I should go to therapy, and I plan to do that to sort through the things I’ve been dealing with. In the meantime, this, between us, needs to stay casual. Because I’m not…”
“Oh definitely not.”
I blink a few times, a bit surprised by how quick she was to agree.
“I am under no illusions here, Colton,” she tells me, reaching out and patting my hand. “I’m not the kind of girl who’s looking for a man to swoop in and save her, remember? I have my own plans and my own dreams, and to be honest, ‘something more’ with you would actually get in the way of those things. So…”
Emily shrugs and pulls her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees.
“…please don’t worry that I’m going to, like…doodle Emily Palmer in my notebook or envision a world where we end up together.” She laughs. “Definitely not.”
I nod. “Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page, then,” I tell her, slapping my hands against my knees and pushing up off her bed.
I pause, feeling like something is missing from this conversation, something I can’t really pinpoint.
But Emily just looks up at me with a smile, so I return it and head to the door before giving her a wave that feels awkward as hell.
I head out of her room, shutting the door softly behind me and then slinking down the hallway to my own room. Feeling confused, I kick off my shoes and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
My plan was to go in and set the boundary for her. To make sure she doesn’t get too emotionally invested and expect too much. Because she is the one who is most likely to catch feelings. Right?
But as I stare at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but wonder how I came out of there feeling like the boundary had been set for me. And not only that, why it bothers me so much.
chapter eighteen
emily
“I was thinking maybe I’d go for a swim tonight,” I tell Colton the following night, once Teddy has gone down for the evening. “If it’s okay for me to use the pool. It’s been so hot lately.”
His eyes meet mine briefly, a bit of trepidation behind his expression. “Sounds like fun.”
I nod then bite my lip. “It would be more fun if you’d join me.”
Colton glances at me again, the glow from his computer screen washing his face in white.
He clears his throat but doesn’t say anything, so before he can decide how to respond, I wink at him. “Think about it.”
I spin around and head down the hall and up to my room to change into my bikini.
By the time I make it out to the pool, the sun has dipped behind the trees, creating the radiant oranges and pinks that fill the California sky at sunset. The heat from the day lingers, and I’m excited to spend some time in the pool, whether Colton joins me or not.
Though, obviously, joining me would be the better option.
