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"Yeah," I murmur. "They have been the best."

He pulls back his hand, leaning back in his chair. "Can I be honest with you, Addison?"

I nod. "Of course. I love honesty."

"I think there might be something more than friends going on with your roommates. It sounds weird but I have a gut feeling you may be in love with them?"

My eyes shoot open wide in surprise. "They're my friends. Of course I love them. They helped me a lot and we get along really well."

I realize I'm over-explaining, doing my best to convince Ethan that I'm being genuine by being here on this date. As I try to talk about them as friends, this horrible swirl of nausea sits in my stomach, making me feel sick.

Ethan's mouth tightens as he sends a reassuring smile my way. "We can't help how we feel sometimes. Me… I'm looking for my forever person. I know we're young, but I'm the type of person who wants to settle down so that when college is over, I can start my life with my love. I don't think that's you, Addie. I really wish it was. I think you are amazing. But I couldn't live with myself knowing you were possibly in love with someone else."

"That's crazy," I mumble, picking up my glass of water. "I'm not in love with anyone. I'm just trying to find myself after being cooped up for so long."

"I get that," Ethan sighs. "But I also think you might be lying to yourself. Not intentionally. But if I've learned anything from dating, it's that you should always follow your intuition. Tell you what, let's have our dinner since we've already ordered and have a good night. I'd still love to be friends with you."

I swallow, taking another sip of water to stop my bottom lip from trembling. "Friends sounds good."

Chapter 23

"Bestoflucktellingthem," Ethan says, smiling as he drops me off at the apartment complex.

"Thanks," I mutter, returning the gesture. "I'm really sorry for wasting your time."

He waves his hand. "Don't be. You're a lovely person, Addison. Like I said earlier, I'd love to stay in touch and be friends. But for now, get inside and go tell those roommates how you feel."

I nod, laughing nervously. "Thanks Ethan. Take care."

I wave him goodbye as I step inside the lobby, heading for the elevator. My heart is racing as I make myself to the apartment, wondering how I even start the conversation.

When I reach the door, I hesitate, giving myself a pep talk before finally opening the door and stepping inside.

The room is dark, only illuminated by the kitchen light which has been left on to help me see. I look at the bedroom doors, noticing they are all closed.

I consider waking them up, when something catches my eye.

On the couch, in the corner is a neat pile of blankets and a pillow… just like when I first moved in.

I walk over slowly, staring at the pile like it's going to ignite into flames at any second. Plopping myself down next to the blankets, tears slip down my cheeks, my chest aching.

I grab the blanket from the top of the pile, shaking it out from its neat little square and lay on the couch, covering myself.

Sleep doesn't come easy that night. Or at all.

Sleepcame.Ataround4am.

By the time the alarm I had set a few hours ago starts blaring, I nearly fall off the couch. I had tried to set an alarm to catch the guys bright and early before work, but because I struggled to fall asleep, it appears when I did, I fell into a sleep deeper than the Mariana Trench.

All three bedroom doors are wide open, the rooms empty. I look around the apartment, finding it completely soulless.

Sighing, I resign myself to the fact the guys don't want to face me right now. I head into Chase's room, pulling on my work clothes before dragging my exhausted ass out of the apartment towards campus.

When I head into the coffee shop, I'm immediately greeted by Greg, staring at me horrified.

"You look terrible, Addie."

"I feel terrible. I didn't sleep much," I mumble, nodding my head towards the coffee machine. "Strongest coffee you can make, please."

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