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Mara gives me a half-ass glare. I guess it's all she can muster so early in the morning. I don't blame her at all. Neither of us are early risers, but for Elsie, I'll grin and bear it. I grab the caramel and vanilla creamer out of the fridge and find the biggest cup we have. Abel better have my energy drinks ready in the car too. It's going to be one of those days.
"It's a wonder you haven't had a damn heart attack yet. With all the sugar you consume in a day, heffa, it's bound to happen eventually. Don't worry, I plan on burying you with an energy drink in hand."
Mara doesn't lie. I've often wondered how my heart doesn't explode from all the caffeine I consume on a daily basis. I figure it's because baby Jesus isn't ready to deal with my obnoxious ass just yet. He's left that job to Mara, and she does it well.
Finishing up my second cup of coffee, I get my shit packed in the car and head to Abel's. We're taking my car, seeing how Abel's truck would be a bit too snug for the three of us. A girl needs some leg room, if you know what I mean. I call Elsie and let her know we're heading her way and will see her in a few hours.
"Babe? You want to stop for coffee? Or are you good for now?"
Simple as that question might sound, it's difficult for me. Yes, of course I need more coffee or any kind of caffeine. That would also make for numerous bathroom stops because we all know I have a toddler's bladder. Also—he was supposed to get my drinks before we left, so we didn't have to make extra stops. I guess this means he failed his one job. One job!
"Well, if my fiancé packed my drinks, like I asked him to, this wouldn't be a topic up for discussion, now would it?"
Okay, that was kind of bitchy of me. I mean, the guy literally rocked my world last night. Twice. The least I could do is be understanding if he's a little off his game this morning. I kiss both his cheeks and tell him everything is fine; we'll get something when we retrieve our Elsie package of love.
Trust me when I say, I have a stash of caffeine at her house, for those after-party mornings when I ended up at her place instead of mine. In my defense, our places were next to each other and almost identical. Okay, never mind. It sounds like a pretty lame excuse, now that I think about it. I’m the queen of lame excuses. Just ask Mara. She fell for them for many years, but realized my game and shut that shit down to the motherfucking ground. She's good at that. You know—catching me fumbling over my excuses. In the end, I've learned to own my stupidity and I'm okay with that.
The drive to Elsie's is short and sweet with no incidents. I know—shocker. We made it in less than 2 hours and didn't even have to stop for a pee break. As I get out of the car, that's when it hits me. I barrel past Elsie and head straight for her bathroom. I can hear her and Abel cracking jokes about my baby bladder, so I yell a "fuck off!" to both of them, which makes their laughter even louder.
"You guys are lucky I didn't pee on the floor! Who'd be laughing then? Huh?"
Elsie grabs my hand and as politely as she can, says, "Oh, sweet girl. I'd still have the last laugh because who do you think would be cleaning up your mess? Surely not me!"
She's right. Who am I kidding? Good thing I made it to the potty like a big girl. God, I’ve missed my Elsie. She makes our little misfit family complete. I'm the luckiest girl on this planet. Who can say they got to literally handpick their family? Me. That's who. I cherish each and every second that I have with them. It's going to be the best Christmas ever. I know I keep saying that, but it's the damn truth.
I do wonder sometimes what it would be like if my mother was still around. Would she be clean and sober? Would she be proud of me? Would we have the mother/daughter relationship I always wanted? A lot of what ifs run around in my head, and then I remember. It doesn't matter anymore. To hell with the what ifs because I absolutely fucking love this life and the family I now have. That's all that really matters.
"Enough chit chat, ladies. We have places to go and people to see. Mara and Noah have been blowing up my phone for the last hour. They want Elsie time, and they want it now. Let's get a move on, shall we?"
Elsie sits in the back seat with me so we can play catch-up while Abel drives. He promised Mara he'd deliver us, safe and sound, in less than 2 hours. Lord knows if Elsie and I weren't in the car, he'd be there in twenty. I don't know what it is about guys and cars, but all I know is one makes the other one turn stupid. Just like the deadly V-line on men. They know what they're doing to us women, and they do it just right. Abel's been unceremoniously jumped by yours truly more times than I can count, and I will never regret those decisions.
"Oh, Bren, I can't wait to see what you kids have done with the house. The pictures you sent me were gorgeous! Hippie looked like he's been enjoying his new home as well."
Hippie would be happy no matter where we are, as long as his favorite sloth stuffy and favorite humans are right there with him. He gives Abel a run for his money on most days, but he's the bestest boy! I'd like to think he's just keeping Abel on his toes. Showing him who the real man of the house is and what that man can get away with. Let's be real—in my eyes, Hippie can do no wrong, therefore he is always perfect!
"Don't worry, Miss Elsie, that good ol' boy is still as rotten as ever. Brenna calls it being overly loved, but I just call it what it is—being rotten. He sure has his momma fooled though."
Don't let Abel fool you. He spoils Hippie as much as we all do. They both might also have a bit of a mommy complex, but you didn't hear that from me. No, ma'am.
We've just parked in front of the house when I remember I'm wearing a Christmas snowman light-up dog collar around my neck. Elsie got it for Hippie, but of course I had to try it on. Just as I'm about to take it off, the car door flies open and chaos ensues. All I see are arms, legs, and a few ab muscles thrown my way. Everyone's busy emptying the car and seems to forget about me, so I just sit here and take it all in.
Noah breaks the awkward stares people are throwing my way by saying, "I see my little brother finally got his collar around your neck, B. It's still creepy, even if it's all festive and shit. Some things should be left in the bedroom. Am I right? Mara? Dear god, woman! Don't choke on the wine already. The night is still young."
Mara's choking because she knows this isn't even close to the freaky shit Abel and I have done. I'm surprised Noah doesn't know more. I guess when Abel said his brother doesn't need to know what he does with his dick, he was being serious. Plus, we all know Mara blushes at her own shenanigans. There's no way in hell she could keep a straight face while telling Noah about sexual shit dealing with Abel and me. I'd buy tickets to the show, though, that's for damn sure!
"Get that thing off your neck, silly girl. That's for my beautiful boy, Hippie. It'll look better on him anyways," Elsie laughs, as she takes the collar from me and hooks it around Hippie instead. I must say, it definitely looks cuter on my boy, and I bet you can see him a mile away. It's flashing and making shadows on the wall, and now he thinks it's a game. The poor dog keeps head-butting the damn wall and spinning in a circle.
"I think my boy needs a break from that collar. He looks broken! The damn collar, although very thoughtful, has broken my dog!"
The boys are laughing their asses off as Mara attempts to rid Hippie of the collar. He starts dodging her, and then Elsie joins the good fight. I'm telling you, I can't make this shit up. My girls look like they're chasing down the last donut in the box, and they're extra hangry. They finally back Hippie into a corner and bribe him with treats. Works every time. He's just like his momma. Bring us treats and we'll behave.
"Maybe the collar was a bit of a mistake? Who knew it'd have such a strange effect on our Hippie. We'll go get him some safer toys tomorrow. Safer for everyone. Deal?"
Elsie is the cutest damn thing. We shake on her offer and make plans for a girls’ shopping day tomorrow. We spend the rest of the day just hanging out at our place and have a nice homemade dinner of Italian sausage and cheese stuffed shells with Mara's special red sauce. I'm thinking a nap sounds good right about now, but everyone else is up and ready for a beach walk at sunset. I don't want to be a downer, so I put on my coat, and we make our way to the beach.
It's a windy night, so I cuddle up close to Abel to stay warm. Noah has Elsie and Mara on either side of him, and they look like the cutest throuple you ever did see. I must say, this is the perfect ending to the perfect day. I have everyone I love with me, and we're enjoying every moment of this life. Together. I often pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.
"Looks like my brother's in seventh Heaven with two beautiful ladies in his arms. I'm the luckiest bastard, though, with my gorgeous girl next to me. Merry Christmas, my queen. I love you the most."
