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“I don’t want a family life, papa. I don’t want the fucking wife or the fucking family. I want this life. It’s what I’m good at. Business. Killing. More killing. That’s who you taught me to be.”
I’m not a man who can picture himself kicking around a football with my children or taking them to the beach. I’m not built for seducing women for more than a night and dealing with the danger of introducing them to my life or worse, hiding it the way papa did with our mother.
He can pretend it’s not his fault what happened to her, but we all know the truth. No woman deserves our life. I can’t afford to react. He loves when he can draw a reaction out of me.
Papa continues, as if my reaction is irrelevant. “Part of this life means having a family. I can’t expect my other children to carry on my bloodline.”
“Matteo has a son. You have a fucking bloodline. Why don’t you make him the fucking boss?”
“Eddie? Eddie will not survive long the way he lives.”
“That’s a way to talk about your grandson, eh?”
“Have another cigarette, Van.”
I’m already on my fucking third. But I’m not in a position to turn down his offer, considering the shit he wants me to deal with right now. An heir? I thought he wanted me to kill someone. Producing an heir in a year… It’s just fucking impossible. I stick the cigarette in my mouth and light it.
“You can’t let the family fall apart. We aren’t the only people who would suffer. What would happen to our people, good Italian people, when the only people around they can get money from are the fucking Jews, who hate our guts?” He says.
I can’t let his guilt trip work on me.
“I want an heir.”
“Hm.”
“Consider what you would sacrifice by turning down my offer, Van. It’s not just about the family. It’s power. You act like you’re a fucking saint, but you are my son. You enjoy power. You’re just too much of a stuck up cunt to let yourself enjoy it.”
“Thanks papa.”
“You’re welcome. Now, onto the matter of the Jew.”
Fuck. I hoped my father would only piss me off one way today, but if we’re discussing the matter of the Jew, I won’t leave here tonight without an assignment. Someone else could easily do this job, but he wants me to kill. Because I’m good at it.
“I suppose none of my other brothers have the free time to do this?”
“I don’t care. I need you to do it. The cunt offended this family.”
“Perhaps we waste too much time retaliating for every offense. Ana told you to drop it.”
I’m taking a risk just questioning his order, but he’s pissed me off so much that I stopped caring.
“Decision making isn’t women’s work. It’s our work. The man signed his own death warrant. I want it done soon. Call me when you finish the job.”
“Hm.”
“If you don’t like the way I run this family, Van, you know what to do. I want to retire. Make an old man happy.”
Drugs and whores are the only things that make my father happy.
“An heir,” I scoff. “You want me to have a fucking bastard child to continue your bloodline? A bastard won’t have any loyalty to his family. Children have a mother and a father, a mother they spend all their time with. If I fuck some poor woman, you won’t have an heir. You’ll have a problem on your hands.”
“Then get creative. If you need to get the baby and kill the mother, do what you must.”
What’s happening to this family? When did we lose our way and talking about murdering women for our own ends? Papa… This life changed him. It was slow, but it changed him completely. Too bad there’s no getting out.
“Thank you for the advice.”
“You’re welcome. Now get Boyka back in here and get the fuck out. I need relief.”
