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Cora trembles, and I know it’s not from cold. It’s warm as can be under these blankets. She’s like a pony anticipating a breaking session with an impatient trainer. Can’t have that. This woman’s had enough anxiety to last a lifetime.
“Easy, little baby. Daddy’s got you.” I coo to her and pet her and hold her securely but gently. As I whisper in her ear, she begins to settle. Her body relaxes in miniscule stages. “That’s it, baby. Nobody’s gonna hurt you.” While I make the promise, my hands learn the scars on her back, this time with no cloth in the way. “You’re safe with Daddy.”
“Not too safe, I hope.” Her voice is small and muffled by my chest. I have to strain to hear her.
“Nottoosafe? Now, what does my little one mean by that?”
“I mean, you’re going to heal me, right? I know that’s going to involve…you know…some pushing. Some…unpleasantness.” She shrugs one shoulder as much as she can in my embrace, like her being hurt is no big deal, long as it’s just a little bit.
With a finger under her chin, I make her look up at me. “What the hell kind of healin’ you think you need?” I’m not planning on setting bones or stitching wounds, here.
She frowns. “I thought you would, you know, justknow.Didn’t the Working tell you?”
I shake my head no.
“Then how did you know I needed healing?”
“The Working told me that much, but it’s up to you to guide me. What are we talkin’ about here? Tell Daddy what kinds of boo-boos he can kiss better.”
She blushes and chews on her lip, and I don’t chide her for the latter. I’m not going to be the kind of daddy that nitpicks her. I’m going to be the kind who accepts every aspect of her. She’ll learn her daddy’s love is unconditional and complete.
I can guess what ails her. She’s been horrifically abused after surviving a world-wide pandemic that brough mankind to the brink of extinction. I bet her psyche is a fucking mess. And because I know plenty of people who been raped, I know the wound goes deeper than the skin, deeper than the mind. It’s a blight on the very soul.
I can’t do anything about the wounds to her body. The rough pockmarks and bumps that have turned the silk of her back into an unholy mess—those’ll be with her the rest of her life. But I might be able to do something about her mind. I’m good at listening. Good at counseling. As for her soul? Well, what kind of Reverend would I be if I couldn’t help a soul in need?
But first, I want to hear, in her own words, what she thinks she needs.
She swallows hard. “I—I can’t have, you know, sex. I don’t want anyone to go inside me.”
I wait for more, but she’s done, and judging by the slant of her brows, it took a lot for her to admit that to me. “You want help with that, little one? That what you need healin’ for?”
Her response is a jerky nod. Her hands have made fists against my chest. If I had a shirt on, she’d be clinging to it.
I wait her out again, and this time, I’m rewarded with: “Just do it, okay? I need it. Otherwise, what good am I to all of you here?” Her body’s stiff as a two-by-four.
“Just do it?” I repeat. “Do what, baby?” My heart sinks because I can guess what her answer will be.
“You know, put your fingers in me…or, you know, your…penis.” She rushes to add, “I know it’ll feel good eventually. You’re good at this. You said you were good at this. It’s okay. I’m ready. I need it.”
Jesus. She thinks I’m gonna shove my fingers or cock in her to get her used to the feeling? She thinks it’ll be okay in the end because it’llstartto feel good after the initial invasion?
Inside, I’m a raging beast. I’m fuckingfuriousat every traumatizing experience that led her to this place where she’s giving consent with her mouth even when her body’s shouting“No!”loud as can be. Worse, she thinks she needs to overcome this forus, so she can be whatwesupposedly need. I already told her that was bullshit, but clearly, she doesn’t believe it.
Some truths can be heard a million times and never make it past the barrier of doubt.
Anger is a living thing inside me, but I can’t let her see it. Only gentleness with her.
I keep my stroking light, and I force my voice to calm. That doesn’t mean I won’t be firm with her. If any girl ever needed a strong, firm daddy, it’s this one. “You are in no way ready, my sweet little one. It’s not fuckingokay,and you don’t fuckingneedit.” All right, I’m letting a little of the anger out, but I can’t help it. It’s just sowrongthat this innocent one should suffer under these delusions. “Now you just get it out of your head that anything’s going inside you tonight.”
She pops up out of my arms, sheets pinned to her chest. “What? But I need it! You said you would heal me!” Her protests register high on the panic-meter. That’s when I realize there’s more going on than what she’s revealing on the surface.
As the Reverend, and as her daddy, it’s up to me to peer into the crevices between her words and shine a light into the shadows of her soul. And as a man who’s been host to a demon, I know that what lies in the shadows of a tortured soul ain’t always pretty.
Mentally, I pull on a mining helmet, because it’s time to go spelunking.
Chapter 16
Cora
