AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m a mess,” he says as he carries me up the steps and into his home. The door slams behind us, and he lets me slide down his body.
“You’re perfect,” I tell him. He’s been working out. I can tell because he smells faintly like motor oil and the bleach they use to wipe down the weight benches. He also smells like a man who’s been exerting himself. His scent is spicy and strong, and it only adds to my need for him.
His shirt becomes a mop for the sweat on his neck. Shame. I would have licked him clean there. “I need a shower,” he says. “Give me five minutes?”
He squeezes past me and reaches into a stall that holds a small toilet. A turn of a dial starts a cascade of water, right over the closed toilet.
“You have a shower in your…um?”
“I call it the head, like on a ship.” He grins. “Lots of spaces in here do double duty.”
“Cool. How do you get hot water? Does your camper have a water heater?”
“No. I take cold showers.”
I feel my eyes boggle. I wash up with cold water, but I can’t imagine taking a shower under a spray of ice cold well water. “Onlycold showers?”
“Da,” he says like it’s no big deal.
“When was the last time you had a hot one?”
He shrugs a massive shoulder. “Not since I was in prison.”
I blink at him. There’s a perfectly good boiler and shower available for the men up in the dormitory, and Grim has never used it?
His eyes crinkle at the corners. “It is all right, angel. I don’t mind the cold. I’m from Ukraine, remember?” He makes it a joke, but I’m not laughing.
“But, at this time of day, there’s no one up there,” I protest. Then I remember Brawn showering while I napped in Jud’s bed yesterday. “Well, even if there is, it’s not like everyone’s up there at the same time. You’re not going to bump into anyone. The bathroom door has a lock on it.” No one uses it, but it would make sense if Grim did.
“It is too dangerous. Better safe than sorry. There’s no undoing what my Gift can do.” His eyes go dark with resignation.
I can’t imagine carrying the burden of death in my touch. Poor Grim. I’m the one living thing he can touch without instantly killing it. I see the toll it takes on him, and it breaks my heart.
I think he’s refusing himself certain things in order to punish himself, as if he can somehow atone for his Gift through suffering. He shouldn’t punish himself for something that isn’t his fault. Like Rev said last night, we’ve all done our time. Each one of us still alive has paid a price for the privilege. But we can’t get stuck looking back at what we’ve lost. It’s time to move forward.
“Come on.” I reach into “the head,” turn off his shower, and take his hand. “I’ll be your lookout.”
He doesn’t budge. “I can’t.” There’s fear on his face. “I couldn’t live with myself if…”
I cup his face in my hands. I love the feel of his stubble. I love looking at his ruggedly handsome face. But I don’t like when his expression is pained.
“I know you couldn’t,” I say. “That’s why I’ll be with you every step of the way. You can trust me.” He deserves a hot shower once in a while, and if I’m with him, we can work together to make sure he visits the dorm safely. “Go on, gather the things you need.”
“Cora.” In one word, I hear his hesitation, and also his longing.
I answer with a smile. And with honesty. “Ivan, I want a shower, too, and I can’t think of anything nicer than taking one with my favorite Ukrainian.”
He looks to the ceiling, which hovers a scant half-inch above his head, and groans, and I know I’ve convinced him.
While Grim pulls on a hoodie and gloves, I find clean jeans and boxer briefs in a drawer beneath his bed. I carry his new clothes, and he takes a pair of towels. I tell him to leave his razor behind. There are plenty of disposables under the sink in the dorm’s bathroom. Then we’re heading to the lodge.
I do my part and keep a sharp look out, but we don’t see anyone else until we enter the back door. Shep is in the kitchen, wearing his frilly apron and standing over a huge, humming mixer.
“Hi, Shep. I’m taking Grim upstairs for a shower. Do you have a paper and pen?” Grim looks a question at me. “I’ll make a sign, so anyone who needs to come up knows you’re there.”
His eyebrows lift. He looks impressed, and I feel proud.
Shep finds what I need in Jud’s office. With red Sharpie, I write,Caution!The Grim Reaper is in! Enter at your own risk,and I string the paper across the stairs with a strip of sturdy duct tape.
