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“My suggestion? Go to Kleinland, see our best friend and her tiny screaming children – who I love and adore, obviously – and do your work thing. If you feel up to talking to Holly, do that. If not, don’t force it. And when you come home, you’ll know if you think it’s worth starting over.”
“I don’t even knownow,” Bexley said.
“Take the time and the distance. If you hardly think of Holly and don’t feel the pang in that heart you wear on your sleeve, I’d say leave it, Bex. She’s not the one for you.”
“What if I’m wrong? I was wrong about Al. She’s married with two kids, and I’m just the best friend who was in love with her forever.”
“Alice is not the one for you, Bex. I tried to tell you that. The right one is out there, and you will find her, I promise. If it’s Holly, you’ll figure it out. If not, you’ll meet her when you’re supposed to.”
“You really believe that?”
“Yes, because I love you and you’re my best friend. I know you will be in love and happy with your soulmate one day. I can’t wait to stand beside you at your wedding when that time comes. But Iwillbe picking out my own suit, Bexley. Don’t try to put me in some kind of khaki pants and plaid bow tie combo thing.”
Bexley laughed and took another drink.
CHAPTER 5
“How are things going with Teresa?” her mother asked, keeping that well-rehearsed fake smile on her face as she continued to look around the room while she talked to her only daughter.
“Fine,” Alex said.
“Just fine? You’ve been on a few dates, Alexandria.”
“We’ve been ontwodates,” Alex corrected.
“And?”
“And it was fine.”
“When are you seeing her again?”
“I don’t know. We left it open.”
Her mother looked over and gave her the expression Alex was all too used to.
“Open? Alexandria, you’re not in your early twenties anymore. You’re practically in your mid-thirties. You don’t leave things open with someone when you’re in your mid-thirties.”
“Things are complicated. She has kids. It’s not like it’s easy for–”
“Oh, don’t blame the children. I know Teresa has two full-time nannies and that her ex-wife has shared custody. If things aren’t happening for the two of you, it’s more likely that it’s your fault.”
“Your Majesty,” one of the invited guests said, bowing to the Queen. “Your Royal Highness,” he added to Alex. “You both look more beautiful every time I see you.”
“Thank you, Bennett. We’re always so happy when you can join us at these events,” her mother replied with that same smile.
Bennett understood that that was the end of the conversation and walked off after another quick bow.
“Alexandria, you are the heir to this throne. One day, Bennett will be referring toyouas Your Majesty. And if I’m still around, I’ll be the Queen Mother. You’ve known your role in all this your entire life.”
“I still do,” Alex said, wishing she could leave the event but knowing she couldn’t.
“You know your father and I are rather progressive. We understand there’s no changing your preference. And we even support you marrying someone who’s divorced, if you have to, but we can’t not have you get married at all.”
Alex’s ‘preference’ was how her mother referred to her being a lesbian. Alex didn’t view it as a preference at all – it was all she’d ever known. She liked women, and she had never been attracted to men. It wasn’t a preference for one or the other. There was no ‘other’ for Alex. She’d known forever that she was gay. By the time she was twelve and at the private school reserved for the wealthy, she had her first real crush on a classmate, and it wasn’t a boy. She’d gotten caught kissing that girl in her bedroom. For the other girl, it had been a practice kiss, so Alex had lied to her parents and said that it had been the same thing for her. Two years later, Alex had met another girl, and it hadn’t been a practice kiss for that girl – she’d liked Alex the same way Alex had liked her. They’d managed to keep things a secret for a bit, but it had gotten out, so she’d finally told her parents that she liked girls, not boys.
They hadn’t taken it well and had forced them apart. The other girl had moved away after that. Alex had gone on a few dates with boys that her mother had set up for her, but by the time she was eighteen, she’d had enough. She’d never gone on more than three or four dates with any boy and hadn’t even kissed one. Before she’d gone away to university, she told her parents that the farce was over. They had two options, in her opinion. They could make up a reason why she shouldn’t inherit after her father passed and let her younger brother take the throne. She’d be the spare then, and no one would really care if she ended up with a woman. The other option was that she would come out to the country and the world as a lesbian and become the first openly gay Queen of her country. There would be no in-between.
It had been the hardest conversation of her life. Her heart had raced so much, she’d worried she was having a heart attack. Her parents had requested time alone to discuss, and she’d given it to them. Alex had spent time with her brother, Lawrence, while they’d spoken. She tried to prepare him for the fact that he might end up being King after all.
