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There was no love lost between me and Kurt, and I wasn’t surprised he didn’t remember me. I was just a back he used to boost himself up on. He just happened to be one of my executives during my flash-in-the-pan career. He never made my life easy.
The meeting started, and it was a whirlwind of logistics, paperwork, and safety precautions. I was positive they were all important things to be discussed, but I just didn’t fully understand this side of the industry yet. I just stood there, trying to pretend I knew what the hell they were all talking about. Acting like I was totally in the loop and knew everything I needed to know. This is where Damian always excelled.
“Okay, now it’s time for the really exciting part.” Sadie tried to infuse a little enthusiasm, and there were a couple of claps and cheers. It was my first time seeing her in her take-charge element, and it was exciting. Sadie and I had been friends for a few years and it was fun to see her succeed and kick ass at her job. “As we all know, Damian is set to return on his tour in about a month. But, before we talk about the tour, we should discuss his next studio album.”
Damian leaned back into his chair at the mention of it, and I knew he was nowhere near ready to release that album. Hell, I wasn’t even confident he found the sound he was looking for, let alone created anything that could be used. We were literally just shooting in the dark this past week.
“I assume everyone wants a progress update.” He spun around in his chair to face the window and the bland view of more buildings and streets. “I…,” he started, spinning back to the table to lean his elbow on the surface. “Honestly, I don’t know how it’s going.”
The silence in the room was deafening.
Jackson scrambled to sit upright in his chair and get everyone’s attention.
“What Damian means to say is that we’re well underway, but we haven’t completed the album yet,” he elaborated, and I knew he was trying to be as vague as possible. It seemed to work, as I saw some heads nod in the room. I wasn’t one of them, of course. I knew the truth. The album had one song started, and even saying that was generous.
“I don’t know about you guys…” Kurt inserted himself. He had a bad habit of doing that. No, he had anobnoxioushabit of doing that. “But I don’t think with this tight of a schedule that Mr. Apollo here will be able to release an album. Am I right?” His smug tone was hidden oh-so-subtly in his voice of concern. I never really understood Kurt as a person. He always had this aura about him that made me feel like he was two-faced, but at the same time, he served as a valuable asset to the record label. All I knew was something was off and he creeped me the hell out.
Damian simply let out a huff as he spun around in his chair one more time.
“Well, that may be very insightful of you, Kurt, but my world tour was in promotion of my previous albumFour Zero Fourand not this one,” he pointed out, sitting up properly in his chair, shooting a glare toward Kurt. “So this next album is irrelevant and frankly, just a bonus.”
Damian turned his attention to Sadie, and the rest of the people gathered in the room.
“Are we that desperate for me to get a new single out? Don’t we have singles and albums being released constantly from our other talented artists? Let’s keep those going. What’s so important about mine?”
Suddenly, the room fell into a tense silence. Damian put everyone in their place in less than fifteen seconds. Behind the superstar who was making sluggish progress on his current project, was a cunning businessman who knew what he wanted and knew how to succeed. I begrudgingly admitted that Damian was a force to be reckoned with, and he wasn’t afraid to remind anyone.
“That isn’t what I was trying to insinuate, Mr. Apollo—” Kurt tried to save face, but Damian’s no-nonsense look in his ocean eyes immediately shut him up.
“The tour will proceed as planned, and if I'm not done the new album, I can continue to make it while I'm on the road. I don’t understand why this had to be a whole meeting.” Damian’s voice continued to throw countless knives, and no one had the audacity to speak up anymore. “I wasn’t aware everyone was so forgetful of the time I madeFour Zero Fourwhen I was touring my third album,Say It Now. It’s all so… confusing to me.” With that, Damian leaned back into his chair again, reverting to his usual lax and indifferent demeanor.
Sadie, still looking down, finally spoke up.
“I sincerely apologize, Mr. Apollo. That wasn’t my intention,” she stated, voice weak and trembling. Damian gave no response, so she only took that as a cue to proceed. “With that being said, Mr. Apollo, that would mean that we would need to hire on-the-road studio assistants for your current project, would it not?”
Damian’s brows furrowed as my heart started to quicken. On-the-road? Meaning there was a chance I would… No… No, that wasn’t it, right? Sadie did say that they needed to hire more people.
“Why?” Damian asked, and it wasn’t helping my anxiety whatsoever to see him so perplexed about Sadie’s question.
“Well, man, yeah, I could come with you on the tour and we could record on the road just like old times,” Jackson interjected. “But with mixing and mastering and instrumentation, I feel that me staying behind here would be the best for the album.”
“But don’t we have a studio assistant already?” Damian inquired, and my heart instantly fell. Everyone suddenly looked my way, but all that was running through my head was that I was going to be on the road…leaving Luna behind.
My lip quivered a bit as I attempted to speak out.
“Me?” I questioned, not really sure how to feel about the whole thing. I didn’t want to leave Luna behind while I was touring with Damian, but this job was vital in providing for her.
Damian chuckled slightly, his tongue wetting his lips as a smile spread across his personable face.
“Yes, Ms. Santana, you. I feel like you’re capable of assisting me with on-the-road recording sessions.” My feet were suddenly glued to the ground as a cold chill ran up my spine.
I was presented with a crossroads so suddenly, and it was filling me with so much uncertainty. On one hand, it was thrilling to finally receive some validation and confidence from Damian. All this time, I wasn’t sure if I was doing a decent job or not. It was nice to have some confirmation. On the other hand, I was still a single mother to a four-year-old girl. While, yes, Luna was very bright for her age, I couldn’t just dump her at my mother and sister’s place while I went all over the country. There was never a day in her life that I was away from her, and it was happening all so suddenly that I… that I… that I just…
I ignored Damian and forced myself to take a breath. I reminded myself of what my mom had told me when I broke the news of my pregnancy. She told me that becoming a parent not only meant having patience, but also knowing that some sacrifices were essential in raising my child. I had asked her what kind of sacrifices she was talking about, and she only responded by telling me I would know when they presented themselves.
I never understood what she said, and I’d pushed her advice to the back of my mind. But now that I was here, faced with a big decision and choice I’d have to make for the well-being of my daughter and myself, I was finally understanding what Mom meant.
My heart was beating rapidly, and everyone’s eyes were on me, but I knew what I had to do. It pained my heart as I saw Luna’s sweet face in my head.
