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So, when his eyes landed on me, I smiled softly. Gave him a gentle wave then forced my eyes to my steak. Cutting the smallest of bites and shoving it into my mouth, counting each iteration as I chewed.One, two, three, four—
“Gigi?”
Only four chews were not enough to swallow my medium-well piece of carefully cut steak. But down my throat it went. I coughed. And coughed. Coughed a little more. Between coughs, I felt his strong hand on my back. Patting gently, before applying pressure.So much pressure.
I reached for my water and sucked down a sip. “Thanks,” I uttered through teary eyes. “Damn,” I urged when the remnants finally cleared my airway.
“Eating alone?” His observation felt weird coming from him. Not as dignified as I made it seem in my head.
“Yes.” I looked up at him. “I am.” I tried to recover from the coughing fit with dignity.
“Mind if I sit?” He looked at the empty chair across from me, not the one on either side of me.
“No.” I watched as he eased into the seat. Spread his legs and leaned forward. “So…” I cut into my potatoes. Taking the smallest of bites to avoid another coughing fit. Once they started it was hard to stop them. “How often do you visit here?”
A small smile fitted across his lips.God, I missed that smile. Those dimples.“Often enough that the bartender has my order memorized.”
I thought back to the past few weeks. How I’d visited the restaurant and sat at a similar table in the middle each time. Not once noticing him. “Hmm, I come often. Happens to be another favorite. First time seeing you.”
“Too bad.”
I eyed him. The sarcasm rolled from my tongue. “Really?”
That brought a laugh from his side of the table. “Really. I have been thinking about ways I could talk to you. Ways that wouldn’t be intrusive.” He looked around the restaurant. “Seems this is better than any way I could imagine.”
“Better than a phone call?” I tilted my head to the side and attempted another bite of steak.It was better than the salad after all.
“Where we left off. Yes.” He pointed between us. “This is awkward. But it forces us to move beyond it. Pregnant pauses on the phone are torturous.”
“Are they?”
He nodded. “But now, I can tell you how sorry I am.” He watched my face and the crinkle that inched my eyebrows closer. “And see your reaction. Know if you want to curse me out orforgive me.”
“Should I though?” The devil on my shoulder wasn’t letting up. He sought revenge. Blood shed wouldn’t be enough. “I can get you not wanting me at the game. Being all caught up in the changes. Whatever.” I waved my hands. “But telling me that’s all I wanted.” I scoffed, “I didn’t want any of this. I was hurting. In despair, and you appeared. I would have been cool eating ice cream and sulking on the couch for a few more months.”
Instead of pity in his eyes I saw a look of hope.The fuck.His eyes glistened and his smile never once wavered. “I was an ass.” He pointed to his chest. “And I don’t even deserve to sit across from you at this table, let alone dine with you in the same restaurant. I don’t deserve to enjoy the same steak that’s clearly bringing you joy over there.”
Another piece hovered in front of my lips till I let the fork rest on the plate. All I took from his rant… “You ordered the steak?” Like it was asignof some sort. Completely ignoring the fact that weeks prior he threw a red flag on the play. That it was still laying in the middle of the field. “You know what.” I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. You showed me a side of you I can’t accept.”
Then his lips fell. A frown formed. The look on his face mirrored that of the image I remember of him on the sidelines. After Mario took the field, and the camera scanned the team. It was pitiful.
After staring at the rest of my steak, deciding if the yummy goodness was worth breaking the solitude I felt. Or if I wanted to hold my breath a little longer until he spoke.
I didn’t have to decide. The waitress broke the silence for us. A bag presented in her hand as she asked, “Would you like it plated instead?”
It was my lunch break. I didn’t have a patient immediately following, but I shouldn’t linger in the restaurant like I had the leisure. The hollowness in my lungs let me know I still wasn’t breathing. I still waited. For any words that formed the fullness of his lips.
“Do you mind?”
The waitress looked from him to me, and I watched him. “It’s fine.”
“I’ll get it plated for you.”
“Thanks.” His lips lifted then fell before his dimples could form. “The house is a little empty now that my parents left.”
“Your house?” That felt like the most important part of his admission. “You moved out of the hotel?” It was naïve of me to think he’d forever live in a temporaryroom.That somewhere in the mix he wasn’t looking for a house. But somehow it felt like an intimate detail I should have known about. Not knowing pushed me further outside of his realm. His orbit consisted of his team, and his family.Was it even capable of accepting anyone else?It didn’t matter. I told him that ugly side of him that reared wasn’t for me. It was me who didn’t let him inmy circle.
“Yeah.” His answer was simple. Too simple. I needed to stop halting my breath as I waited for him to speak. My existence didn’t depend on his.
