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A hand goes through my hair. “I don’t. I’m always wondering if they’ll use something against me. Because I’m wondering how I can use what I know against them. Except with you.”
“Why not with me?” I hoped I was right.
“I’m aware you won’t give up everything to me unless I do the same. You would resent me. I don’t want that. I also want you to use everything you know about me against me. I want all your attention and time. Any way I can get it.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry.I’m ordering myself. It doesn’t work. I blink and tears slide out. He rolls me under him. A thumb wipes the tears under my right eye away, he presses his lips to the tear under my left eye.
“It’s all right, my dear beautiful wife. I’m not going to hurt you. No matter what comes. I promise.”
I believe he means it. He doesn’t want to hurt me. But can he keep my heart from breaking when he can’t love me the way I love him?
* * *
Nicolette
“Come on, dear husband, we have to get up. I’m hungry for breakfast even if it’s closer to noon.” I nudge Manuel.
He sighs as he squeezes me close. “We can call down to the kitchen. We don’t have to get up.”
I chuckle. “Yes, we do. It’s called being parents. They actually didn’t seem to hate me yesterday. If we keep it going, Luisa might stop biting me.”
I’m let go, and he’s sitting up. “She bit you? More than once? No.”
Shit, he’s pissed. I grab his arm as he gets off the bed. “Manuel. Stop. Please calm down. She’s three years old. I’m scary, and she misses her mom. We’re working on it. It’s why we need to get up and spend time with them together, like a family, so they aren’t scared of me.”
He shakes his head. “If Blanca was willing to go against what we agreed on the raising of the children with the nannies, I’m not going to worry about giving them a mother—”
I can’t believe what he’s saying. This is what he meant—he doesn’t care about the kids. Yet, honor demanded he hold to a promise. Catching his hand, I press it to my chest. “I’m going to worry. I cannot turn my back on them, not even Luisa for biting me. They need me. This is what I meant when I said there are going to be times when they come before you or us. We got a day to ourselves, now it’s their turn.”
His frown is thunderous, but the hand on my chest is gently caressing the skin beneath it.
“They didn’t come before you. Please, for me.”
Sighing, he nods. “Fine.”
“I’ll see if I can dig up my swimsuit.” I’m excited by the thought of getting in the pool.
“No, that’s not happening.” He’s firm.
“Why not?”
His frown is deep in his forehead. “Because no one is going to see you in a swimsuit.”
“So what? I’m never going to get to go swimming? I was looking forward to spending time in the pool with you since you love it so much.” I pout.
“When we’re in our home and I can turn off the cameras and the lights, you can go swimming.”
There’s no arguing with him. And those years of being raised to be a good wife won’t let me.
“I’m sorry your clothes aren’t here yet from Paris. And about you not going to Paris for your wardrobe. Next time you’ll go. Whether it’s with your mom or whatever.” He’s apologetic.
“I get to go to Paris for clothes?”
“Of course, you get to go to Paris. Or Italy, if you prefer.” He’s studying me. Then he sees it. “You are always going to have your clothes made to fit you. No more attempting to fit into what’s on the rack. You’ll feel the difference.”
I shrug, self-consciously. “I always wanted to…”
A hand grips me by my hair. “Everything you want. Every concern you have. You give to me, and I’ll take care of you.”
