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“That’s right, I’m too old,” she agreed, but before I could respond to that, she’d moved on. “Why didn’t you call the police? Or tell someone else? You’re friends with all the Wonderwomen. They all say how much they like you.”
“They do?” I asked. “I like them, too, but I still couldn’t talk about it. A few times, I tried to bring it up with Ward’s mom but she didn’t want to listen. It must be just terrible to hear things like that about your child.”
“You’re seriously excusing her? She’s his mother! She should have stopped him!”
“I don’t know if anyone can stop him.”
“That’s why you’re marrying Bowie,” she stated. “For protection. All that stuff he was saying at the Woodsmen meeting with Danilo Coelho, that was all crap.” She looked over at me. “All that stuff about being in love.”
“Crap,” I agreed firmly. “Total crap. He’s just like—ok, don’t laugh, but he’s like a knight. Like a King Arthur kind of knight.”
“You always watched those black-and-white movies.”
“But he’s really like that,” I insisted. “We met because he was there when Ward got angry and did something to me, and then he just kept being there. This thing about marrying me is only to protect and help me. When it’s over, when Ward goes away or gives up or finds somebody new, then we can split. Bowie deserves someone who really loves him and will give him a wonderful life.”
“And that’s not you.”
“Me?” I asked. “No, it’s not. First of all, I’m not Woodsmen-wife caliber in terms of looks.”
“Lots of them marry short girls.”
“No, not because of my height. You know, I’m just medium. I’m not like you.”
“We don’t look alike, but you’re really pretty. You take after our grandma,” she said suddenly. “Mom’s mom. Have you seen pictures of her?”
Aubin thought I was pretty? Really? “I didn’t know there were any pictures,” I said.
“Dad tried to throw away all her stuff when she ditched us, but I took it out of the trash.”
There was definitely something wrong with my sister. The fact that our mom had left us and deserted our family was something that she never, ever admitted to. I had been warned throughout my life against letting it slip in any way, and we’d managed to keep it as a family secret. I didn’t tell because I knew it would kill my dad to have that information batted around our town, and because it was hard for me to talk about since it hurt to know that I was the reason for her departure. Aubin didn’t tell because she had an image to maintain. According to us, our mom had been on a visit to Chicago when she’d had the accident that took her life. She hadn’t been moving there permanently to start over without her husband and daughters.
“I put everything in boxes,” Aubin went on. “I hid them in the rafters above my room. Dad doesn’t know.”
“I’m kind of surprised that you did that,” I said carefully.
“I remember her. I remember the day she left us.”
I didn’t remember but I had heard about that day, how our mom had looked at me, crying in a high chair, and at the broken washing machine, and my dad passed out on the couch, and then announced that she’d had it. She was done. This was not the life she’d signed on for, none of it. She’d managed to get by with my sister, who was the perfect child, but when she’d gotten pregnant again (by mistake, obviously—the gap in our ages told me that) then she’d been overwhelmed. So she’d left.
“Her old Dames uniform is there,” Aubin continued.
“No!” I burst out. “Really? That’s so cool!”
“It would probably fit you. You guys were about the same size,” she said.
“I thought she was tall, like you.” I thought I might remember her, but it was hard to know if I was mixing an actual person with dreams or maybe even with old memories of my sister. In my mind, they were practically the same person.
“No, I get the height from Dad.” She pointed across the parking lot. “There’s a spot.”
I pulled in but before we got out of the car, Aubin put her hand out. “Wait,” she said, and I did. “You should have told me, Sissy. Maybe we’re not best friends or whatever, but I would have helped you. I always hated Ward, how he used to put you down and act like he was such a big deal. I didn’t know what he was doing when I wasn’t there to see.”
“I wish I had told you. I tried a few times, like that night at your house…I could have tried harder. When you chose me to be your maid of honor, I should have known that you were making an effort to bring us closer and that would have been the time, I guess. I really wish that I had.”
She looked out the window toward the bridal salon. “You think this is going to work? This is the solution?”
“I hope that it’s part of the solution. Otherwise, I’ll have to leave everything and everyone here and just run for it. No one can find Ward. It’s like he’s vanished.”
“I bet his parents know where he is.”
