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After a few more minutes, he starts to text me.
Where are you?
Are you all right?
You’re scaring me. Please let me know you’re okay.
That message really gets to me. It feels like my heart is cracking in my chest. Despite everything, I can’t stand the idea of Arthur genuinely scared.
My fingers are shaking as I tap out,I’m okay. I’ve left. Please leave me alone.
The three dots on the screen prove he starts to reply immediately. I wait for his message to appear.
I’m so sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you. I was trying to do what was best for you. I never wanted you to leave. Please come back. We can work it out. I know we can.
Then he adds,If you won’t come back, at least tell me where you are so I can come to you.
He sounds so upset. Almost desperate.
I’m crying again as I block his number and call Jenna back.
***
TWO HOURS LATER, I’Mlying on my bed, exhausted and dazed and heavy, when a phone rings.
I grab for my cell phone, but that’s not where the ringing is from.
It’s the landline in my hotel room.
I reach for it automatically. No one but Jenna knows I’m here, so it’s got to be the front desk. “Hello?”
“Scarlett, baby, please don’t hang up.”
I make a choking sound at Arthur’s hoarse voice. “I asked you to leave me alone.”
“I will. If you need me to, I will. But not without you hearing what I have to say. I can’t let you leave like this. Maybe I should. I’ve been trying so hard to make sure you’re perfectly free, that nothing is tying you down. But I can’t. I can’t! It’s too much to ask. I can’t be that self-sacrificing. Maybe I’m selfish, but I can’t let you go like this. Please talk to me.”
I’ve never heard him like this. Out of control. Babbling. Desperate. It goes right to my heart. My voice wobbles as I say, “You told me what you wanted. It’s not what I want. I’m making the best decision for me.”
“I didn’t tell you what I wanted! I told you what I thought I was supposed to want. You haven’t heard the truth from me, baby. Not the whole truth. Please let me tell you the truth now.”
I gulp. My mouth goes dry. The room spins briefly before my eyes. “I... Where are you?”
“I’m down in the lobby. They wouldn’t give me your room number, but they connected the call to your room.”
“How did you know where I was?”
He makes a weird sound in his throat. “I’ve been making calls since you blocked me. Eventually I landed on the right one.”
I clutch at the phone. Make another hard decision. “I’m in room 416. You can come up.”
“Thank you, baby.”
There’s a dial tone immediately afterward. I hang up the phone and then push myself into a sitting position. I rub my eyes and take a few breaths, and I’ve barely managed to stand up when there’s a pounding on the door of my room.
“Hold on,” I call. My legs are sore for some reason. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to move. Heartbreak shouldn’t affect the body this way.
I get to the door, unlock it, and swing it open. Arthur is right there, his hair still half-wet from his shower, loose and drying in wild kinks around his face. He’s still unshaven, with shadows under his eyes and an anguished urgency on his face.
