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“No. My back is fine.”
“Okay, good.” I grin at him, leaning over to give him a kiss. “I’m going to take a shower and get dressed. I guess even after that kind of erotic interlude, we have to eventually get started with the day.”
***
AFTER THE EXCITINGmorning, the day proceeds as usual—Arthur keeps busy in his office while I work in the library. I’m in the groove of cataloging the books and am moving more quickly than I was a week or two ago. At this pace, there’s probably no more than a couple of months left of work to do.
I have no idea what I’ll do after I’m done. Yes, I could probably get a position at a library somewhere, but the chances of finding one in this area are slim to none.
I don’t want to leave Arthur, but we haven’t made any commitments. What we have is good, but it’s also new. I can hardly make life decisions based on it.
Plus I still don’t have back the memory of the lost six months. Without that, it still feels like I’m living in limbo. If I never get it back, however, I’m going to have to work on establishing a life with those months as a permanent gap.
It’s a depressing thought, so I filter it out of my conscious mind, focusing on my work instead.
At lunch, Arthur comes into the library, followed by Stella with a lunch tray. Fred has been lying in his library bed, dozing contentedly, but he jumps up ecstatically at the arrival of two of his very favorite people. So far, everyone he has met has been one of his favorite people. We eat salad and sandwiches in the window seat and chat about the current book I’m working on. When we’re done eating, Arthur wraps an arm around me and leans me back to rest on him as he lounges against a large cushion.
It’s nice. Intimate. Relaxing. He occasionally brushes a kiss against my hair or strokes my arm or thigh, but he doesn’t make any sexual advances.
He just holds me as we take a break. I feel close to him, and I want to be even closer. If I could, I would crawl right inside his body and settle there.
I snicker at the image, and then I have to explain to Arthur, who is naturally curious about my amusement.
I bumble around, trying to give him an honest answer while not bringing up a topic that’s inappropriately pushy for only a week into a relationship.
He smiles like he understands the joke, so I rest my head against him again. After a few minutes, he murmurs, “I do want to say something, Scarlett.”
His tone is different. It sounds important. I straighten up and turn to look at his face with wide eyes, my heart suddenly racing.
“I’ve been trying very hard not to push or pressure you.” His expression is sober, so gentle. “But you sounded uncertain just now. Uncertain of how much you can say or ask for. And that’s not okay with me.”
I frown, momentarily confused.
“I’ve made mistakes in the past, and I’m not going to make the same ones again. I’m not going to risk losing you because I’m afraid of taking a risk. I don’t want you to have any insecurity about my feelings for you. So this is not in any way intended to pressure you or demand you reciprocate right now. You can take all the time you want. I can be patient. But I’m in love with you, Scarlett.”
I suck in a gasp, raising a hand to cover my mouth. My heart is racing even more now but not in fear anymore.
“I love you, and I want us to be more than casual.” His voice breaks, and he glances away, then takes a breath and turns back to me. “You don’t have to reply. I’m not going to be hurt if you can’t return my feelings yet. I just want you to know. You can file it away. So however you feel, whatever you want from me, you won’t let uncertainty stop you from doing or saying what’s in your heart.”
“O-okay.” I lick my dry lips and try not to melt away from the overload of warm feelings.
“I’ve lived my life mostly alone. I’ve never been in love before. So this is the real thing for me. I’m in this all the way. I’m with you—in whatever way you’ll let me be.”
I make a choked little sob and throw myself against his chest, filled with absolute certainty that this is where I belong.
Maybe I’ve always belonged here and never knew it until now.
“So you can make any plans for the future you want. Move back to Charlotte to be closer to Jenna. Get a job halfway around the world. Whatever you want. You need to be free to make your own decisions and do what makes you most happy, and I’m going to love you through every step of it.”
I pull away so I can look up into his eyes. Brown and warm and so tender. “I don’t want to go anywhere else. Not right now anyway. I want to stay here with you.”
“Okay.” His face twists very briefly. His voice is barely a rasp. “If you want to think it through after you’ve completed this project, we can talk about it then. We’ll be able to figure things out. I’ll be able to move if there’s a job somewhere else you want.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Didn’t you understand what I was saying? Whatever the next step in my life is, I haven’t made definite plans yet. So we can make them together.”
“I’d like that.” I drop my eyes but feel safe enough to raise them again as I admit softly, “The truth is, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you too.”
