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“I just assumed he knew what he was doing.”
“You were both wrapped in grief in your own way. He trusted someone he shouldn’t have. He did a shitty job taking care of you,” River snorts.
“I get that Jason was a big influence, but thats not an excuse for his actions,” I whisper, shaking my head as I look at my brother. Kerian is shooting me concerned glances while trying to make small talk with my awkward brother.
“Follow your instincts with this,” River suggests.
I take River’s hand and pull him to sit on the couch across from my brother.
“Bartlett, what did you want to be after you were done with school?” I ask, curious.
“A preacher. I know I’m not very social, but I wanted to be part of something bigger,” he says wistfully. “I was teased relentlessly in school. I liked school, at least the academic aspects of it. I got good grades. That was the only reason Dad was proud of me. I didn’t like the outdoors like you did. I didn’t want to fish or hunt like he did. I couldn’t cook well when Mom tried to teach me. I felt like I was an outsider in our family. They tried to include me as much as I allowed. I hated movies. You had so much fun having movie nights. I knew they loved me, and I loved them.”
“I never knew how you felt,” I say.
“That was my fault. I only spoke about it once with Mom. She told me to be who I wanted to be. She wouldn’t force me to participate if it made me uncomfortable. She was a good mom. When they died, I didn’t know how to handle it. Even though I couldn’t relate to them, they were still the ones that guided our family.
“I guess I didn’t want to be a disappointment to you. I knew I wouldn’t parent you as they did. We had nothing in common. So I tried to find a purpose. I chose the wrong man to guide me. Jason seemed like he cared about me.” He rubs his hands on his pants. “He offered me a place at his church, and it was everything I had dreamed of having.”
“You didn’t understand how demeaning he was treating the women of the church?” I ask.
“I thought he was taking care of them,” he says, confused.
“Bartlett, he treats them horribly. He doesn’t allow them any independence. He acts like they are robots to be programmed to do what he wants,” I explain.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t pay attention to what he was doing,” he whispers. “I never speak to any of the women.”
Bartlett's world is one-dimensional. He doesn’t see the hidden depths.
“Maybe you need to ask them.”
“I have no interest in them beyond guiding their relationship with God. All I care about is my work. It is good work.” He fidgets with the pillow beside him.
“Does Jason put any of his money in the church?” I ask.
“He did when he started it, but now it’s my turn.”
Shit, this is so fucked up.
“He’s using you. He knew you would be an easy target. Did you tell him you wanted to be a preacher when you met him?”
“Yes, he asked about my life.”
“Jason is a predator. He is extorting money from you,” I say. If I hope to have any kind of relationship with him, I have to get him away from Jason.
“We can help you sort all this out if you let us,” Kerian offers softly. I look at him gratefully.
“Can I think about it?” Bartlett asks.
“Sure. I suggest staying away from Jason until you decide,” Kerian says.
“I will. I need to process everything,” he says, frowning. He stood abruptly. “Ava,” he starts, lifting his hand weakly, “I wish I would have done better. I hate that you went through that, that I didn’t want to see what you were going through. I should have protected you, as a brother should. I was in denial. All I could see was the future I wanted for me.”
“I appreciate that.” I’m surprised by the tears he blinks away.
“You remind me of our mother. She would have been so proud of you.” He steps toward the door. “I’ll stay away from Jason,” he says softly, looking back. “I would ask forgiveness from God for all the things I let him do, but instead I will work on earning yours.”
I nod weakly.
