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“Bring it on.”
***
The bed is empty when I roll over; Marie’s side is cold. Before I met her, I hardly slept, and if I did, it was lightly. Having her next to me has relaxed me. I feel her in the apartment, so at least she didn’t leave. I also feel her anxiety. We are tied to each other in such a way that all her emotions flow to me. I’ve had years of experience shutting mine off, so I’m not overwhelming her with mine. I know she has felt some of mine when my guard is down, mostly when we are together sexually. It’s hard to turn it off then.
Our friends didn’t say anything about our disappearance or the smell of arousal in the air. I was thankful they didn’t make any comments that would make Marie uncomfortable. Marie drank countless drinks, testing out her new body. I lost count after ten. She ended up getting drunk. She was a funny, loud drunk. Ava matched her drink for drink. Together they were hilarious. I didn’t stop her; I wanted her to have one night that was carefree and fun. She took advantage of it.
I slip on some shorts and go to her. She’s sitting on the balcony, welcoming the morning sun. Her posture is tense, though.
“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask, running my hand down her hair.
“No,” she sighs. “I’ve been thinking about Sammy.”
“Yeah?” I ask, letting her lead.
“I don’t want to see him.”
“You don’t have to,” I assure her. I sit beside her, facing her.
“But I have to,”she says.
“You don’t have to do anything,” I say, frowning.
“I have to do it for myself.” She turns to me with tears in her eyes. “If I don’t, I won’t move past it. I will always wonder and wish I did.”
“I will support you,” I assure her, using my thumb to wipe the tear that escaped.
“Thanks, Bash,” she whispers. “I’m glad you will have my back. When I’m face-to-face with him, I don’t know how I will react.”
“Unless it will hurt you, I won’t stop you.” I play with her fingers. “Vampires have what we call a demon inside of us. We dress and talk like normal people, but we have a dark side. Most of us can control it eventually. When I need to turn off my emotions, I call on him to take over. Do you feel it?”
“Yes.”
“When you were holding Penny against the wall, was she in charge?”
“Yes, all I could feel was the need to protect you. She was urging me to drink.” She scowls. “I was able to control her, though. It was like we were melded together.”
“You are. Being such a young vampire, you have to be careful how many times you let her have all the control. If it’s too many times, it can cause you to lose yourself. There’s a balance you have to find. I can help, but I can only do so much.”
“I understand. I don’t feel out of control. My thoughts and feeling are amplified, but not something that should worry me.” She squeezes my fingers. “I’ve never been a violent person, so that is the side that unsettles me. When I did that to Penny, my brain was screaming violence. I wanted to hurt her, but by drinking from her.”
“Violence comes with our gift.”
“You think of it as a gift?” she asks.
“I do. Ryker gave me a gift. I can live forever if I’m smart. I can do anything I want, go anywhere I want, and be anyone I want to be. It comes with so many gifts. The universe rewards us with the one person that has been handpicked for us. It may take a while to find them, but I believe we have to put in our time and learn our lessons first. I still don’t think I deserve you, but I won’t let you go.” I hold my breath, waiting for her reaction. I don’t like talking about my feelings, but she deserves to hear it.
“Bash, that’s beautiful,” she says. She crawls onto my lap. “It’s hard for you, but I like hearing your thoughts. I’m glad you’ve been happy with your life.”
“I wouldn’t say happy,” I admit. “I’ve been content. I’ve done things I never thought I would—good and bad. Ryker is the brother I never thought I wanted.” I glare. “If you tell him that, I’ll have to torture you.” She giggles. “I didn’t know what love was or that I could have that in my life.” Her body tenses. “I heard what you said.”
“What?” she asks.
“I heard you say you loved me,” I say. I’m nervous, and I don’t get nervous. If her declaration was because she thought she was dying or because it was something she thought I needed to hear, I don’t know if I’ll be able to say it.
“I remember,” she says softly.
I nod. “You deserve to hear how I feel.” My phone rings. “Just ignore it,” I say desperately. I might lose my nerve if I don’t say it now.
