AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She missed him.
It was the first time she’d missed anybody other than the baby that had been snatched from her.
“I have to learn to meet people where they are,” she told Van. “And love them there.”
His gaze was inscrutable; she couldn’t tell if he was listening to her or believing anything she said. “That’s a huge change for someone like you.”
Someone like her. Rage-filled. Homicidal. Driven by only the desperate need to hurt others as much as she’d been hurt.
“What brought on this change?”
She smiled softly. “Lots of things.” She got to her feet. “And nothing at all.” By the furrow in his brow, he didn’t understand, and she doubted she could even explain, so she didn’t try. Instead, she clutched her handbag as she gazed around her at the chairs all lined up so neatly. “Congratulations on your son’s wedding. In spite of me and your father, you and your husband have done so well with him.”
A small part of her was envious, yes. But mostly pride was what settled in her chest as she took in the man before her. He hadn’t allowed what she’d done to him to defeat him. And he could have. He could have continued that cycle of allowing pain to dictate his actions, relying on rage to deal with the people around him. But he had love. He had family.
Unlike her, he’d thrived.
She might never have this moment with him again—because why would she?—so she took him in. Her presence and her words had brought a starkness to his features that were rapidly disappearing, replaced by a light that had been there before. By contentment. By love, giving and receiving, by the acceptance that he was fine.
His strength reminded her of Israel; they had that in common. His stance reminded her of his father, and unlike years past, that simple thing didn’t make the remembered anguish rise in her chest, smothering her until the only way she could breathe was to lash out, harder, bloodier than anyone else.
She didn’t doubt that the moment she left he’d be on the phone with Israel, telling him everything she’d confessed. She knew it would happen and she wanted Israel to know. Maybe this was her cleaning out her closet.
She’d never lived her life hoping to be liked. But she’d lived it hoping one day to be loved. Donovan’s stillness reminded her of Toro, which brought to mind Toro’s words of love. She hadn’t believed them, especially after he’d seen what she did, after he’d known all the things she’d done.
How could she believe he could love her when she’d stopped loving herself?
She swallowed and nodded to Donovan. “Goodbye, Donovan. Take care of yourself and your family.” She left him standing there and walked back to the house as she booked an Uber on her phone.
Inside, she declined Levi’s offer of a drink and a seat in the living room while she waited for her car. Instead, she stood at the end of the driveway until the car pulled up.
It took her to the airport, where she got on a plane.
The plane took her to New York, where a driver was waiting for her as she exited LaGuardia.
He drove her to Brooklyn.
After all, she wasn’t done atoning.
29
Toro stayed busy.It wasn’t as if he had a choice in that. His uncle took one look at him when he showed up at the beach house Daniel shared with Stavros and sent him down to Miami to handle business. Maybe Daniel hoped keeping Toro on the go and preoccupied would prevent him from obsessing over Seraphina.
If that were the case, his tío was dead wrong.
He wore Seraphina’s abandonment like an accessory around his neck, taking it with him wherever he went. It’d only been a handful of days since he left the house in Delaware, since she disappeared on him like a thief in the night. He couldn’t deny the hurt that still kept pace with him, through sleep and wakefulness.
Was he to take her leaving as a sign she didn’t want him? Didn’t feel for him what he felt for her? Was he supposed to chase after her or leave her alone? He didn’t fucking know, and that gutted him too. Many would say he deserved better, but he didn’t think so. There was no one better than her because she made him feel things he hadn’t felt in such a long time. She made him happy.
Until she made him sad.
But that was love, wasn’t it? The person who held your heart possessed a unique power to devastate you unlike anyone else on earth.
Seraphina was that person for him. And it’d been a power he’d willingly handed over, knowing the risks. He regretted nothing, not one move. He also didn’t believe for a moment they were done. If she needed her space he would give it to her. If she wanted time she could have that too. Whatever made her happy. At the end of the day, that was his one and only mission.
Making Seraphina happy.
She wasn’t misunderstood, at least not in his book. She was exactly who people thought she was. But that was only one layer to her. She was so much more than the past she’d survived and the losses she’d taken in life. He wanted to ensure she knew that. He wanted to ensure she knew the way it felt to be loved wholly and unconditionally.
