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I recognize the men and women from the clubhouse back in New Mexico, and I know their presence should make me feel safer, but it doesn’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe again. I curl into Emmett’s side and rush to climb into the vehicle once given the chance.
Every part of my body aches as Shadow drives us away from the hospital. I refuse to shut my eyes on the drive because every time I do, I picture myself tied up in that trunk. I can feel every jostle in my bones even with my eyes open.
Emmett places his hand on my thigh when I tense up. I wish there was more than just his need to protect me in his eyes. I keep silent once again.
It doesn’t take us long to get to the hotel, but we’re instructed to wait as others in the SUV pile out and take up position like they expect to be fired on. I wonder if this is what the president feels like every time he travels.
I ride up in the elevator with Emmett and Oracle. I feel more comfortable speaking in front of both of them.
“I doubt we need the entire Cerberus team here to protect me,” I mutter.
“Half of the team is back home, making sure everyone there is safe,” Oracle says. I watch as Emmett’s jaw tightens, like he’s not impressed with Oracle giving me this information.
My anger transitions from a low simmer to bubbling by the time Emmett closes us inside the room. Oracle takes a post outside the door.
I stare at the man who professed his love to me two days ago, but he remains silent.
I try a different tactic, walking toward him and running my hand up his chest. His eyes dart down to the bandages on my wrists before he steps out of reach.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I growl.
“Now isn’t the time for that,” he says, unable to make eye contact with me.
“Not the time for comfort and assurance?” I challenge. “Because that’s what I need from you.”
“You’re trying to initiate sex, Devyn.”
I can’t argue because I’m not above using sex to get him to get out of his head and to come back to me.
“One minute, you claim you love me and the next, you won’t even touch me?”
“You’re not going to fight your way into getting me to sleep with you right now! You got hurt because of me!”
He’s loud, his anger clear, but I know it isn’t directed at me. It goes deeper than that.
I snap my eyes to the door when I hear the knock. “Everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” I assure Oracle.
Emmett paces the room, his hands scraping over the top of his head.
“That fucking guilt you’re feeling should be anger. We’re not the problem, and it’s ridiculous for you to even think we are.”
He shakes his head as if he’s rejecting every word from my mouth.
He walks around me when I place myself in his path, making damned sure he doesn’t touch me.
“I will not just let you walk out of my life, Emmett Wilson. So you might as well hang that fucking idea up.”
“You,” he snaps, his face mere inches from mine. “Were hurt. Vaughn died because of me. Your parents hate me for it. I will not give them a reason to hate me more. You could’ve fucking died.”
His voice is low and calm, his line drawn in the sand.
“Everyone at that wedding was at risk of dying.”
“Because of Cerberus.”
“Because evil men do evil things, Emmett. We can’t stop living our own lives because there’s a threat of danger.”
He clenches his fists, breaths rushing past his lips. He’s pissed, and he should be. I’m angry too. Harper was so kind to me while I was in the hospital. She brought me clothes and food, and cried with me, told me how sorry she was that I was hurt. The woman lost her brother, and she never pointed a finger at Cerberus. She never blamed anyone other than the men who did this for her loss. I don’t know why Emmett can’t take that same path.
“Everyone I love dies,” he says, sounding more broken than before. “I can’t, Devyn. I can’t fucking love you. It’s a death sentence.”
I step in front of him, my back to the door to keep him from leaving when he walks in that direction.
“I get that you’re upset and angry. I’ll even give you the time you need to work through all that shit, but we’re not doing this get angry, blame yourself, walk away, only to come crawling back later bullshit. I won’t have it. So we’re going to skip all that shit right now and just get to the making up part. You’re fucking exhausted, and I am too. Take your fucking clothes off and get in the shower with me.”
