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His eyes search mine, and I see it the second he accepts everything. Some of the shadows fade, some tension leaves his muscles.
“I love you,” I say, hating the way he squeezes his eyes closed as if he has the strength to forget those words. “And I didn’t survive all that shit just to end up lifeless because you walk away from me. You want to protect me? Then do that standing by my side.”
It isn’t much, but I see the slightest dip of his head, all the agreement I need for right now. We can discuss it further at a later time when we aren’t feeling so raw.
“Help me with this,” I say, turning around and pulling my shirt over my head.
“I hate all of this,” he mutters, his fingers tracing the bruising on my spine.
I wince when he pulls at the bandage covering the worst of the wound.
Then I feel the warmth of his breath there, the slightest brush of a kiss, and somehow it feels better.
“The shower is going to hurt.”
“I know,” I answer. “But I’ll be fine.”
His eyes plead with me when I turn to face him, but I can’t decipher what he’s needing. I press my palm to his face, my own tears welling in my eyes when one rolls down his cheek.
“I love you,” I whisper, catching one of his tears on the tip of my finger when he squeezes his eyes shut.
“Devyn.”
“Forever,” I assure him.
Chapter 38
Legacy
“I don’t have any to spare,” Devyn says as she hands over the soft fabric.
“I understand,” I tell her, doing my best to hedge my smile.
“Just be careful.”
“Promise,” I vow.
She keeps an eagle eye on me as I lay out the fabric on her cutting table. Oracle and I have spent a lot of time in here in the last couple of days since getting home from Texas. With the wounds on her wrists from fighting her restraints, she’s incredibly sore. When I saw her wince the first time she tried to use her rotary cutter, I demanded she stop and insisted the orders could wait. She argued about timelines, and this is the solution we came up with, supervised aid.
“Not that one!” she snaps when I pretend that I’m cutting on a different line than the one she needs. “You have to leave the seam allowance.”
Oracle chuckles, knowing I’m joking with her.
She narrows her eyes at me.
“Now is not the time for that shit,” she grumbles, catching on that I was only playing with her.
Instead of stopping what I’m doing and kissing her lips, I know what she needs right now is for me to do this right. The woman is quick to stress out when things don’t seem to be going her way. I just need to accept that she’ll be in my arms tonight, and I’ll have plenty of time to play later.
She commends me the way she would if she were teaching a class when I get something right, and I’ve quickly learned to stop and ask questions if she gasps or gets a little twitchy.
“I’ve got that meeting,” Oracle says as he finishes his own cutting project. He doesn’t have as delicate a hand as I do, according to Devyn, so he’s only allowed to work on straight line cuts.
“See you when you get back,” Devyn says, giving him a quick smile.
We’ve all been ordered into counseling after we were debriefed when we got back to the clubhouse. At first, I wanted to fight against it. I felt fine, but when I told Devyn about it, she insisted that I go. It’s not that Kincaid gave any of us an option, but I was planning to argue about it.
Devyn was quick to remind me that I tried to force her out of my life to keep her safe, and that was some shit I needed to work through because it can’t happen again. She mentioned her fragile ego and the damage her parents caused with their negligence while she was growing up. She was very mature and told me she loved me but she couldn’t keep wondering if I was going to leave her.
I’d do anything for this woman, and I’m beyond grateful that she stood her ground and didn’t let me walk away. She was a hundred percent correct of course. I would’ve ended up crawling back because there’s no way I could live without her. She even understood my position, that her getting hurt or ripped away from me is something I wouldn’t survive.
I’ve vowed to keep her safe, and right now, only a few days after she was pulled from that trunk, it looks a lot like smothering and overprotection, but she’s been a good sport about it.
“When is your appointment again?” she asks, knowing full well that it’s tomorrow afternoon.
