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“I need to go buy groceries,” Bernie muttered.
Poor Doomy Gloomy, he wasn’t made for prank wars.
When Rafael returned, he held a piece of paper in one hand and a bag in the other hand. She squirmed, wanting to burst into giggles.
Until she saw his face. It was blank.
Okay. That wasn’t what she’d expected. Annoyance. Exasperation. Grouchiness.
Not this.
What was wrong with him?
What did you do, Cat?
“You wish me to humiliate myself in order to give me back my newspaper?”
“That’s not . . . I wasn’t . . .” Horror filled her.
Fuck.
“I could just go buy another. But if this is punishment for yesterday, I suppose it is your due. Are you going to take photos?”
“No, I wasn’t . . . Mierda.” She lay her elbows on the counter and rested her head in her hands. She could feel a headache brewing.
Problem was, it was all her fault.
“Urgh! Idiot! Idiot!” She banged her foot against the island, then did it again, knowing she deserved the pain.
“Mierda! What are you doing?” He grabbed her, lifting her onto the counter so she couldn’t hit her foot again.
She gasped, staring at him in shock. He gaped back at her.
“I . . . I apologize for touching you. I shouldn’t have . . . you have every right to take retribution.”
“Retribution?” She shook her head. He was so hard to understand sometimes. “Dude, I’m the one who wronged you.”
“How?”
“By stealing your newspaper and playing the stupidest prank ever. That backfired on me. I didn’t want . . . I wasn’t trying to humiliate you. I guess . . . in my own dumb way, I was trying to break the ice.”
“Break the ice?”
“Like . . . I don’t know. I thought it would be funny and clear the air between us. Like maybe you’d look at me and see me as a person and not just a job. Don’t know why I thought this would help. And instead, you thought it was punishment. Dumb.” She slapped her hand on the counter.
“Stop hurting yourself.”
It wasn’t said in a low growl like Alejandro would have. He didn’t reach out to touch or soothe her.
But there was a hint of something there? Some heat? Probably anger, but it was better than the icy chill.
“You hid my newspaper, printed a letter that said if I wanted it back I had to put on a tutu and do a dance and you thought that would improve things between us?”
“I never said I was smart. It’s a dumb prank. Guess you’ll be thrilled to get assigned to a new job, huh?”
“A prank?”
“Yep. I’ll get your newspaper.” She jumped off the counter and walked to the freezer, pulling out the deep dish tray. The newspaper sat in a pile of slushy ice.
“I probably should have researched how long it takes for water to turn into ice.”
He moved over to look into the dish, blanching. “It will be ruined.”
“Oh, nah, I wrapped it in a ton of saran wrap. Actually, I hope Doomy Gloomy has that on his shopping list.”
She set the dish down, then pulled the newspaper out and took off the wrapping. “I can get it as good as new. Why do you like reading the newspaper so much? Seems a bit . . . old-fashioned?”
“Not all of us are barely out of diapers.”
“Hey! I’m twenty-three!”
He shot her a look.
“I suppose everyone seems young to you, though. What are you? Seventy-three? Seventy-four?”
“Eighty-two,” he replied dryly. “Good genes.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Was that a joke? Did McGrumpface make a joke? Are you allowed to make jokes or will you be thrown out of the League of Grumpy Grouches?”
He gaped at her. “McGrumpface?”
“Oh yeah, that’s your nickname. But seriously . . . you’re joking now?”
“Well, you did prank me.” He frowned. “I’ve seen you prank Bernard. And The Scot. Even Alejandro.”
She shrugged. “Sure. It’s fun. Even if I usually have to write lines or stand in the corner after.”
“Alejandro should spank you more.”
“Hey! Not nice, McGrumpface. Not. Nice.”
“Neither is holding my newspaper for ransom.”
She shrugged and held it out to him. “Here you are. And . . . I’m sorry if you thought I was trying to humiliate you.”
“Weren’t you?”
“I just . . . I don’t know. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, and maybe this was a stupid way of trying to apologize. Guess I ruined any chances of us being friends.”
“You want to be friends?”
“Well . . . maybe friendly? You don’t follow me around when I want to pee or look at me like I don’t exist and I won’t make you no-bake Tim Tam bars.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“Well, I was going to poison them.”
His mouth dropped open. Then he shook his head. “This is a prank too?”
Sure. If he wanted to think that. She still thought she could be Alejandro’s secret weapon.
