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My phone buzzes in my bag and I hesitate. Please don’t let it be him.
Exhaling, I take it out and unlock it. Several notifications line the screen, but one makes my heart skip. Fifteen missed calls from my mother.
Shit, I really need to stop putting my phone on vibrate.
I call her and she picks up on the second ring but the other end of the line is faintly static.
“Mom? Are you there?”
“Noelle.” Her voice cracks into the mouthpiece.
“Mom, I can’t hear you. You’re breaking up.”
There’s silence for a bit, then a bit of whirring static, before it dies down. Then my mother’s voice, crisp and clear, comes on. “Hello? Noelle? Can you hear me?”
“Yes, Mom, I’m—” I pause mid-sentence. There’s something about her voice that hadn’t registered before. “Mom, are you crying?”
She goes quiet. I sit up, fear hammering in my heart.
“Mom, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Noelle,” she says in a choked, throaty tone. “Your father and I are getting a divorce.”
“What?” I whisper. There is no way I heard her correctly. “What do you mean?”
“It happened yesterday.” She sobs into the receiver. Loud, painful sobs that tear me apart. “He came home drunk and was smelling of some cheap lady’s perfume.” She sniffed. “I confronted him about it and he said nothing, Noelle. He didn’t even try to deny it. Apparently, they met at some conference and they’ve been doing it for nearly three months.Three months, Noelle.” She wailed loudly.
Helpless, I sit there, listening to her cry. My heart is torn into a million pieces. Why would my dad do this?
“He doesn’t love me anymore. He doesn’t. We—we're starting the divorce process tomorrow. He’s already… oh, God, this is just so hard for me.”
“He’s already what, Mom?”
“He’s already taken his things, Noelle.” She breaks down in tears. “His car wasn’t in the garage when I got here from my morning walk and I’m looking at our closet. All his clothes are gone. All of them. He even took a few of the paintings and books we had purchased together. I hate this so much."
This cannot be happening. Yes, my parents always had these fights and they were always pushing each other’s buttons, but that’s what couples do, right? They push and pull but the love is always there, even if they sometimes drive each other crazy.
They had been together for over thirty years. They were my love compass. Now it is broken and I’m lost. I thought, like my parents, I’d have a forever kind of love. Someone to be there for me and that would sometimes go crazy because of me and drive me crazy but that I could always count on.
But that kind of love doesn’t exist, does it? If my parents can’t make it, what chance do I even have?
“I don’t want to do this anymore.” My mom’s broken words pull me from my head. I can’t focus on me right now. This is not about me. I have to help her through this.
“Mom, calm down.” I rise to my feet and unlock the door. “Listen to me, okay? Are you listening?”
She makes a sound to indicate yes.
“I’m calling you a taxi as soon as I get off the phone. I just… I just need you to go to Aunt Jessica’s and stay there, okay? Just stay there. I’ll be right with you soon.”
“I don’t want to go to my sister’s, Noelle. I’m fine. I’m fine, trust me.”
Yeah, the last time you said that, you almost ended up burning down the house.
I swallow the emotions choking my throat and blink back my tears. “Mom, please. Just do this for me, please. Just stay with Aunt Jessica for a little while. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
The line is quiet. My heart is thudding fast as I hold my breath in anticipation.
“Okay.”
