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It’s for the best. I don’t want to spend more time with him. I like him too much and it can’t go anywhere.
Dead end.
Besides, I hardly know the guy. My feelings are silly, surface level stuff. Physical attraction only.
When Zane leaves, I don’t acknowledge his departure.
When Ryker’s ringtone blasts through the air, I jump. It’s time to have a serious talk and I’m dreading it.
“Good morning, Mila. I trust you had a good weekend.” It’s the end of the day for him, yet he’s still in his suit, not a hair out of place, looking fresh and handsome.
“I did. Yes. Thank you. It was good. Fun. Relaxing.” TMI.Stop, Mila.I almost added the wordseye openingandbreathtaking.
“Good. I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself. You deserve a break. You work so hard to achieve your dreams.”
Has he always spoken so stiffly, so formally? I suppose he has. I’m comparing him to Zane and I don’t want to go down that road. They’re two very different people and that’s okay.
“Thank you.”
“May I apologize for Friday night? I’m so sorry my mother upset you.”
I let my breath out heavily. It’s time to get real. “I was more upset with you, Ryker.”
He rubs his neck. “I know. I probably shouldn’t have asked my mother to get involved.”
Probably? “No, you shouldn’t have. If you have an issue, bring it to my attention. Communication is key in a relationship.”
“I hate that Zane is living there with you. I hate it,” he blurts with an angry raised voice. “I don’t trust that jerk. He tries to take everything that’s mine and I won’t stand for it!”
His nostrils flare, his expression turning into a fiery mask of rage.
And then it’s gone, as quickly as it appeared. He rubs his five ‘o clock shadow as he visibly calms himself down.
“I’m sorry, Mila. Zane always upsets me.”
I’m so taken aback by what I witnessed, I’m speechless. Does Ryker have a temper? Does it flare up on occasion? How has he hidden this from me for so long? Do I really know him?
“I don’t understand. Then why did you let him stay?”
“I told you, I like knowing where he is and what he’s up to. It’s already been a week. Has he really found a house?”
“He has. And he put an offer on it.” If he’s paying attention to what Zane is up to, shouldn’t he know that already?
Something is niggling at me and I realize what it is. Ryker allows his distrust of Zane to take precedence over his fear of Zane living with me. There’s something wrong with that logic. If he’s so worried about Zane’s behavior with me, he shouldn’t have let him stay.
“Good. He should be outta there soon.”
Not the issue. It’s time for me to be totally honest with him. “Ryker, I think we need to talk.”
“I apologized. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to include my mother. But she’s there and she can see what’s going on. I can’t. She has to be my eyes.”
He doesn’t trust me, but then, maybe he’s right not to. My heart has been easily swayed. He must’ve sensed my wavering long before I did.
I’m just going to blurt out how I’m feeling. It has to be said. “Ryker, it’s not only that. We have bigger issues and I think it’s time to face them. I’ve thought a lot about this and I’ve realized there’s something missing between us. I’m not positive we’re right for each other. You must’ve felt it too. That’s why you didn’t make things official before you left.”
He’s silent for much too long, his face rigid, his jawline tense. Do my words make him feel anything? He breathes in deeply before he speaks. “Please don’t give up on us. I know this separation is hard. All I ask is that you wait until I return home and give us one more chance before you make any decisions about us. Please, Mila. We owe it to ourselves to at least give this more time.”
I do still have love for him left in my heart. A little sliver. I thought I wanted to marry him. Those feelings are still there, but I feel them slipping away. I was so sure. Now I’m very unsure.
