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I walk for another long while in the bright sunshine. I’m glad it’s not a foggy day. The sunshine doesn’t cure the Great Big Dark, but it makes me feel alive, like life isn’t over.
Finally, I turn for home. It’ll be getting dark soon, and I need to let Artie out. I’ll take him for a walk while I fill my prescription. The doctor arranged for an appointment with a therapist for the day after tomorrow. I told her I would be making plans to go home to Idaho soon. She still felt I should see the therapist right away. The idea of unburdening myself of my toxic thoughts definitely appeals.
So, there it is. This is my life now. Instead of waiting for the handsome prince to save me, I saved myself.
The thing is, I still want the handsome prince.
Slowly, I approach my apartment, feeling worn out after all of my walking and crying. It’s a good tired, though. I’ll sleep well this evening.
As I get closer, I realize someone is sitting on my doorstep.
And it’s not Ryker.
chapter thirty-five
~
IT’S THE MANwho has stolen my heart. Maybe he’s here to give it back. Maybe that’s why I’m so down. I can’t function without it.
When Zane sees me, he gets to his feet. He walks a few steps towards me, holding a bouquet of roses in his hands.
Zane. He’s here. The prince with no princess.
Is he here to see if the shoe fits? There’s not a glass slipper in sight. Maybe he doesn’t need one. Maybe he’s here to fight for me because he already knows I am the one for him.
If only.
My eyes are drawn to my small, fenced-in patio behind him. I can only see a slice of the scene through the open gate, but what I can see is magical.
A small round table boasts a pristine white tablecloth. Several candles are aglow on top of the table. Two dinner plates are covered by steel domes. I can also see a glimpse of more candles dotting my tiny patio. A string of twinkling lights crisscross overhead, forming a canopy of stars. Achingly beautiful violin music wafts through the air from a hidden speaker.
It’s beautiful. As the sun goes down, it will be even more so. I’m stunned by his efforts.
The man, the music, the setting. It’s everything I want, the touch of romance I need.
My eyes return to Zane. His expression is a mixture of sympathy, vulnerability, and tenderness. He also appears hesitant, perhaps wondering if I’ll accept his grand romantic gesture.
I don’t.
A flash of anger takes me by surprise. I didn’t think I had enough oomph in me to conjure up anything other than my blah feelings. Perplexed, I turn around and walk away.
Something makes me stop after only a few steps.
I change my mind, walk a little further, and stop again.
What am I doing? I bring my good hand to my forehead and rub one temple with circular motions.
Zane is making an effort. I wanted him to come for me, and he has. Yet I’m a bundle of angry and confused and sad feelings. They’re all inside me, jumbling around, each one vying for the opportunity to surface.
Slowly, I turn around again. Zane’s still in the same spot, watching me battle with my emotions. There’s a pleading expression on his face now, along with deeply furrowed eyebrows and slightly wild eyes.
I study him and see that the events of the past few weeks are written in his handsome features.
I haven’t had it easy, but neither has he.
He’s still in his suit, tie undone and hanging loosely around his neck, his top buttons unbuttoned, making me wonder how long he’s been waiting for me. His state of undress only adds to his appeal, and makes me swallow. Hard. Man, he looks good.
My indecision over, I approach him. I stop walking when we’re about two feet apart.
