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“Hey,” he says.
I want to screamWhere. Have. You. Been?But I don’t. Instead, I return with, “Hey.”
We stare at each other for what feels like forever. I absorb his lifeforce like a starving parasite. I want to latch onto him and never let go. At the same time, I’m angry, an emotion I wasn’t expecting when and if Zane returned to my life. I don’t want to feel angry. But I do. It isn’t fair to him and what he’s been through recently, though.
Zane breaks the silence. “I was worried about you. I’ve been trying to call.”
I pull my phone out of my purse. I have twelve missed calls, all from Zane. The fact that he’s been trying to reach me causes a warm sensation to rush over me. “I forgot to turn my ringer back on after the meeting at the law office.”
He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling shakily. Is he anxious? Over us?
All I can think isme too.Is there still an us?
I squint in the face of the setting sun, trying to cover up the gloomy emotions taking over my features. “Why are you here, Zane?” It comes out much harsher than intended.
“To see you. I miss you like crazy.”
Like crazy? That’s good. That’s so good. I lovelike crazy. “Have you been waiting long?” I ask with a peevish tone.
“A while. The truth is, I would’ve waited all day.”
All day? For me? That’s even better thanlike crazy. “Why now?” I whisper. “Why not three days ago? Two days ago?” I needed him so much.
“Life is finally calming down. Sorry I’ve been so swamped.”
Swamped. My anger begins to deflate. He’s right. He’s been inundated with life changing events. He does look tired. I wonder if he’s had much sleep. I don’t know why tired looks good on him. So unfair. But he looks so good right now, I long to wrap my arms around him, to rest my head against his heart, to feel safe in his embrace.
“It’s okay. I understand.” I’m usually so independent. The Great Big Dark is really messing with me. I’ve been far too consumed with myself. I hate feeling so needy that I can’t recognize his current responsibilities and give him space.
“No, it’s not okay. I’ve left everything in Ryker’s capable hands for the next while and I’m on leave from the military. I’m all yours.”
“But...”
“You’re more important to me than anything else, Mila.”
I close my eyes, knowing it’s exactly what I needed to hear. “Did Ryker send you?” My voice cracks, revealing my unsteady emotions. I need to know he’s here of his own accord.
“He did pull me aside today, just before I left to go after you. He told me what he’d witnessed, said he was worried about you. It was what I’d already figured out after seeing you this morning. I came as soon as I could get away.”
I let that sink in. “Hold up. Ryker is actually trying to help us?”
“Yep. Go figure. Life is changing. All around us, all the time. It’s the way life works.”
I look down at the ground. “Yes, it is.”
“Mila, look at me. Please.”
I do.
“Some of the life changes can be good. Really good. If you’ll let them happen.”
“Maybe.” I swallow through a dry throat. “So, you’re here to save the day? Is that it?”
I regret my words immediately. I’m not interested in a verbal sparring match. It’s easy to toss around barbed comments with Ryker. He doesn’t mean anything to me. Zane is different. Zane means the world to me. I only want tenderness between us.
He doesn’t take offense. “I’m here for one reason and one reason only.”
“Why?” I ask.
