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I kissed her knuckles.
“My pleasure, Tiger. You make everything better.”
A flash of melancholy struck me. Joe would have loved meeting Eve. He would have teased us mercilessly, but he also wouldn’t have hesitated to help me throw the poker game to make her happy.
“Everything okay, Brady?” Eve asked, voice soft.
“Just thinking about how much Joe would have enjoyed meeting you.”
Eve’s hand clenched around mine, a silent show of support. “You haven’t talked about him much. Can I ask what happened?”
I swallowed, pushing past the lump that thinking about Joe’s accident caused.
“We went hiking together out at Douglas Falls when I was a senior in high school. It was a little icy in spots, but we’ve lived around here our whole lives and didn’t think much of it. We were just eager to get out on winter break, taste freedom.”
I paused, staring unseeingly out the windshield at my garage.
“Brady?”
Eve’s prompt brought me back to the present.
“He slipped and fell over the edge of the trail. Impaled himself on a tree branch from a fallen log,” I said, my words rusty. Remembered fear and panic locked around me, making it difficult to breathe.
“Brady, I’m so sorry,” Eve said, running a hand along my forearm.
I shook myself, forcing the last of the story out. “I had no cell reception to call for help. I had to hike out. Leave him there. Dying. Alone.”
The bald words dripped out like acid.
“Oh, Brady.”
Bitter memories tightened my voice. “Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “It’s taken me a long time to forgive myself. I was the older brother. I should have known better.” I shook my head. “But I was stupid. Careless.”
“Brady, it sounds like it was an accident.”
“I wish I’d done things differently.”
“You did the best you could,” Eve soothed, sliding a comforting hand into my palm.
“It wasn’t enough,” I muttered, still able to picture Joe’s face, the pain in his expression as he urged me to hurry to find help. I think he’d known then that he was dying, that help wouldn’t come in time. I hated that he’d sent me away, when I could have been with him.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Brady. I wish there was something I could do.”
I squeezed her hand. “You’re already doing it, Eve.”
I wanted to take comfort in her, sink into Eve’s warmth. But doubts slithered through me, poisoning the fragile peace her understanding had helped me find. Did I deserve to be happy, if Joe couldn’t?
I thought sharing my story, my past, would help. After all, I knew Eve wrestled with her own demons. If anyone would understand my moments of sadness, my regrets, I thought she might. Maybe it was the swiftly approaching anniversary of his death, but part of me didn’t want to believe I deserved her comfort. Her understanding.
Eve pulled me from my seat, engulfing me in a warm hug. She squeezed as if her life depended on it, holding me until I responded, wrapping my arms around her.
“Hey,” she said as I shuddered in her arms. “If you want to talk emotional baggage, I’ve got a full set of my own. You’re not alone, Brady.”
“Maybe I deserve to be.”
The words tumbled out before I could call them back.
“Is that really what Joe would want for you?”
