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A small smile pulls at my lips. I knew Alex wasn’t a doormat. I knew the girl had a fire in her. I just had to bring it out of her over time. Light up some sparks like I always do.
18
ALEXANDRA
Mirrors on the Ceiling – mike.
How dare she? How dare she mention my dad? Telling me he’ll dry my tears. If my dad knew I was here…I gulp. Anxiety is tearing at my chest. There’s a block of ice in my lungs.
“Alex!” Xi’s voice resonates as loud as his feet hitting the concrete when he runs after me. “Wait!” He catches me in no time since I’m only fast-walking.
“She hates me,” I scowl the second he starts walking alongside me.
“She’s a bitch.”
“Your mom hates me too.”
“My mom hates everyone who gets near her eldest son.”
I stop in my tracks, turn to him, and we lock eyes. “You’re in love with Billie.”
He shakes his head. “Iwasin love with Billie.” Then he snorts. “Scratch that, it wasn’t even love. It was two people seeking refuge and peace. This town makes you feel claustrophobic. It was…weird. Stupid. Importantly, it’s over.”
“How do you know it wasn’t love?” I ask. “How do you know you moved on?”
There’s something that sparks between us. We’re not touching. In fact, we’re pretty far apart, considering we’ve spent the last few weeks pretty much glued to each other. Except the pull on the invisible string attaching me to him, is powerful. It tugs at my heart, and it’s an authenticity I’ve never experienced before that forces me into clarity.
I know how I feel about this man.
And I think he knows it, too.
“Because,” he hesitates, moistening his lips. “I know.” His eyes are on mine, but he looks past them into my soul. “Believe me, IknowI’ve never fallen for someone as hard as I’ve fallen for you.”
There’s something else he wants to tell me. I can see it right there, at the tip of his tongue.
“Alex, I…” In a split second, he changes his mind. “…I need you to trust me.”
Everything inside me is screaming to end this now. My gut is warning me of an incoming heartbreak. Not now, but it will come eventually.
“Tonight was a harsh awakening, Xi,” I whisper, looking down at my hands as my fingers twist together. “We should cut our losses while we can.”
“Look at me, Alexandra.” His low voice triggers something inside me, and I peer up. “It’s already too late for that.”
“Emma made me feel like none of this is right.We’renot right.”
“Well, for once, baby, why don’t you do me the favor of not caring about right and wrong.”
I inhale sharply as he takes the small stride separating us. Shouting back at Emma today is something I’ve never done. I didn’t even know I had it in me. Xi has been awakening a dormant side of me. Every time he tells me not to apologize. Or every time he forces me to speak my mind, to put words to my frustration, to just be myself; it gives a pulse to the Alex I’ve never met before.
“Why don’t you start worrying about whatAlexwants, instead of what everyone else around her demands.”
Everything is saying no.
He brings his hand to my cheek, his knuckles pushing blonde strands away from my face.
“Forget about being a good girl.Misbehave.Lean into what feels wrong.”
Everything except my heart.
