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I could have loved a broken hero, but I can’t love a willful villain.
“Goodbye, Xi,” I huff, disappointed.
He couldn’t even give me the dignity of ending things with the truth.
The second I pass his front door, the tears are unstoppable. I hurry down the street, not even knowing which way to go. The sky is orange and gray, the sun barely lighting some clouds as it rises. I need to get home and I don’t know how.
Panic grips my chest, icing my veins. I’m alone. All alone on the North Shore without Xi and his protection. He ruined us, and I’m left here on my own, knowing perfectly well the danger that puts me in.
A car parks a few yards from Xi’s house and a girl I recognize steps out. His stepsister.
“Alex?” The surprise in Billie’s voice comes with worry. “What the hell are you doing here on your own? Where’s Xi?”
I shake my head, more tears falling. “We’re over,” I sob. “We…I need to get home.”
Everything comes crashing down. My fingers rake my hair, gripping the roots as I drop into a squat. My legs can’t hold me anymore, causing me to fall onto my ass on the pavement.
“I’ll go get Xi.”
“No!” I shout. “I don’t want to see him. Please…I don’t want to.”
She nods. “Okay, okay. Breathe,” she says softly, lowering herself next to me. She shifts strands of hair away from my sweaty forehead. “Calm down, it’s gonna be okay.”
“I want to go home, please,” I sniffle.
“I’ll take you home. Just take a breath.”
It’s not a simple breath I need. It’s a deep breath against Xi’s hand. He would know what to do. He’d put his hand on my chest and press hard, forcing me to slow down my breathing.
Billie helps me up, opening the car door and assisting me into the passenger seat.
The drive home is filled with a heavy silence. She isn’t a big talker and doesn’t ask anything she doesn’t want to know about. She doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable, either. I’m sure she’ll get her version of the story from Xi. He’s her family, after all.
“Thank you,” I rasp as she parks in front of Xi Ep.
I open the door, but she stops me, her voice sympathetic. “Hey.” She glances away and back at me. “He can be a real dick sometimes.”
“He really can,” I sniffle.
I see she’s looking for reassuring words, but they won’t come. Instead, she grabs my purse from my hands and then my phone, unlocking it and putting her number in it. “If you need anything. Call me.”
“O-okay,” I nod.
“Get some rest.”
Then it finally comes. What she genuinely wants to say. “I’m guessing you learned the truth.”
My chin trembles when I nod.
“Look, I know what he did isn’t right, and you probably don’t want to hear this from me. But he was going to tell you.”
“Right,” I snort. “And when was he going to tell me he is part of NSC?”
“He was protecting you.”
“He’s a liar, Billie, and I don’t think even he understands it.If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
“That’s…not it.”
