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“Stop,” I bawl. “Stop thinking no one ever got to me. That’s not true. Xi, undo these. I’m not…I’m panicking,” I wheeze. “With what happened here—”
“Ah,” he cuts me off with a cold voice. “Yes,that.”
The silence is back, only measured by the beat of my heart pulsing in my ears. It’s hammering in my head, ready to explode.
“You’re scaring me,” I admit in a barely audible whisper.
My thoughts swirl in my mind, trying to make sense of why he’s doing this.
“It’s unhealthy to keep the truth from your significant other.” He presses a knee on the mattress, getting closer to me. The smell of blood on his shirt makes me gag.
“Since I know what you were keeping from me, I think it’s time we put everything on the table.”
My worried gaze travels up and down his body. My heart cracks my ribs as it tries to burst out of my chest, awaiting the sentence from my judge and jury.
“I’ve been trying to tell you, baby. I promise I tried. But it was never the right time. I was too scared of losing you.” He runs his knuckles over my cheek and pushes strands of hair out of my face. “You’re so beautiful when you’re scared. Those eyes…they truly can’t hide anything from me. That’s how I knew I could push you the first time.”
The smirk appearing on his face is terrifying. I was not built to see this side of Xi. It’s reserved for his enemies, and I’m just not strong enough to take him on.
“Stop,” I plead. “Please…I’m scared.” My quivering voice is a mix of terror and disorientation. I’m racking my brain, attempting to get a grip on what happened tonight for him to make the decision to destroy us.
“How do you think I could fall for you so quickly?” he says low, his hot breath warming my cheeks. They’re cold due to the blood draining from my face. “I was already consumed by you. From the moment we met, Alex, you had me wrapped around your finger. I tried to forget you. I tried to leave you alone. Seven months…do you know how long that feels when you’ve become completely obsessed with someone? And then you came to the North Shore that day. You walked into that shop…and it was fate bringing us back together. I know it was.”
I’m trembling from fright, my body knowing this runs deeper than a quick scare. I whimper as tears start falling down my cheeks.
“How do you think I knew you liked being degraded when we’d barely met? Surely it should have warned a smart girl like you that I knew you from before.”
I shake my head vigorously, squeezing my eyes shut.
“God, it’s so good having you back in this position. That’s what I missed. Therealfear.”
No. This isn’t happening.
“Open your eyes, baby,” he says as his thumb wipes tears away.
I blink my eyes open as I feel his knee pulling away from the bed.
“How did you never recognize me, Elisabeth?”
An uncontrollable whimper spills out of me. And when he pulls out a gun from the back of his jeans, my mouth opens, ready to call for help.
His finger comes to his lips as he presses the gun against my forehead, his whispered words calm as the sea on a beautiful day.
“Don’t scream.”
He’s in the exact same position as that fateful night, except now I finally see my aggressor clearly.
It’s the face of the man I love.
32
XI
Young, In Love & Depressed AF – Call Me Karizma
“Why?” she sobs.
The tears on her face should break my heart. But it’s already in pieces from my best friend’s death.
