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I did a lot of thinking before coming to Alex’s house tonight, and I’ve reached two definite conclusions.
Had she warned me about the brothers’ threat, I would have been more vigilant. I would have watched my back, been more aware they were coming for the people I love.
The second thing that came to light was that Alex and I were never meant to last. We’re not just different; we live in separate realities. I can’t keep going with the lies. I can’t keep living a life worried about what repercussions my actions will have on her well-being. There is no protecting Alex if she’s with me. She will always be in danger. She wants me to leave behind a life that’s entirely who I am.
Brutal and deadly.
A life where the people I care about could be gone the next day. Revenge never stops; violence is endless. It was nice to dream about what else I could do for a while, but every dream must stop when it turns into a nightmare. You have to force yourself to wake up and face what life really is: a game of survival.
Andthat’swhy.
I’m about to explain that to her when she speaks again, her words taking me by surprise.
“Why did you tell me?” Her trembling voice racks my chest, pinching at my heart. “You could have kept it from me. Forever. I could have loved you till death had you just kept it to yourself.”
“What about after death, baby? When we have no choice but to drop our masks and reveal our secrets?”
She ignores my question, shaking her head as she sniffles. Her nose twitches, the cutest fucking thing known to man.
“What, then?” I insist. “You have to know who you’re dealing with before I take you to hell with me.”
“You’re the only one going to hell,” she hisses.
I smile warmly at her. For someone who’s been wanting nothing but to see me smile, I know she finds no reassurance in it now.
“Heaven is overrated, cupcake. You’d hate it.”
I use the gun to smear the tears on her face and watch her flinch. “I told you because you need to know who I am. If you choose to love me after that, that’s your responsibility.Youputtingyourselfat risk. Life is made of choices, right?”
Her beautiful hazel eyes blink up at me. “Don’t say this to me,” she whispers. “No one could love another knowing what you’ve done.” Weirdly, there’s more guilt in her voice than shock.
Almost like…shehasbeenloving me knowing what I’ve done.
I lean closer to her, making sure we’re facing each other entirely. “I know, Elisabeth. That’s the whole point. We’re going to move on from each other and return to our lives from before we started dating. Extinguish that love, baby.”
I spent seven months trying to get Alexandra Delacroix out of my head. Seven months forcing myself to never contact her, never go back to the scene of the crime, never try to get back into her life. What if I contacted her and she ran to the police? I couldn’t act on my obsession from that night or run to her and tell her about the powerful connection I felt running between us. And then she walked into that shop, coming straight to me like a gift from God. When she didn’t recognize me, I knew I was never letting her go again. Until I realized being with me meant she could simply die any day.
I move my gun down her chest. It slides easily against the silk camisole she’s wearing. I let it disappear under the covers until I’m able to press it against the silk covering her pussy.
She gasps, the sound beautiful.
“I almost told you several times. I wanted you to know who I really was. I wanted you to love me despite it. To make things right.” I stare deep into her eyes. “But there’s no going back from that…” I pause, not sure what I expect from her. Probably to contradict me. “…right?”
She remains silent, keeping her thoughts to herself. Almost as if she’s punishing me, and not for having committed the unspeakable but for voicing what I’ve done to her.
I press the barrel harder. “Don’t,” she whimpers.
“I’m afraid I have bad news for you, Elisabeth.”
“Stop calling me that,” she groans, shifting as she tries to escape my gun.
“But that’s what he called you, isn’t it? Your kidnapper.”
She shakes her head as her eyes shut, like wanting to ignore the truth. That the man who put her back together is the same man who had broken her.
That I’m her kidnapperandher savior.
The person she’s afraid of the most protected her.
