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I’m exhausted, completely lifeless, but it’s always this way after an attack. And I’m used to it.
The two men help me to the car and sit me inside, Xi buckling my belt. “I can come home with you.”
“She doesn’t need you to come home with her,” Chester snaps.
I watch Xi’s features go from his constantly unimpressed expression to a harsh scowl. For a second, I’m afraid he will turn around and punch Chester in the face, so I intervene. “I’m okay. Really. I just need to rest. Chester will drive me.”
His upper lip curls, but he doesn’t say anything as he steps back and heads to his car. The slam of his door startles me. Why does he care so much about what happens to me?
The drive is quick and silent. Chester’s eyes keep darting to me, and I force a reassuring smile on my face. I hate making myself his responsibility. I’m not. Not anymore.
He parks in front of the Xi Ep house and calls Ella. She’s out in a split second, opening my side of the car.
“Hey, baby,” she says as she smiles softly. “Are you alright?”
I nod, my eyes blinking heavily. “Exhausted,” I rasp.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
Chester exits the car and helps Ella get me to the front door.
“Do you want me to come in?” he murmurs as he caresses my hair.
I shake my head but smile at him. “No boys in the house.”
“I got it, don’t worry,” Ella intervenes as she wraps me in her arms. “You go back to the frat before getting in trouble. Wren said they’re waiting for you.”
“I don’t care.”
“I got it, Chester. Go.”
Ella helps me to my bedroom. Peach is waiting there already, a mug in her hands.
“Hi, pretty girl,” she smiles. “I made you a hot chocolate and drew you a bath.”
I nod, tears welling up in my eyes.
“No, no,” Ella says in a hurry. “We’re doing it because we love you. Not to make you cry.”
“I don’t deserve you guys,” I sob. Tears fall freely from my eyes as my two best friends come to hug me.
“We all don’t deserve each other,” Peach chuckles. “That’s why we deserve each other.”
I laugh through the tears, sobbing some more as I hug them tighter.
The bath really helps, and the hot chocolate even more. I wash my hair and relax in the bubbles, making sure to respond every time one of the girls knocks to make sure I haven’t fallen asleep. I rinse, wrap myself in a robe and my hair in a warm towel, and announce that I’m going for a nap. The girls both give me a kiss and leave my bedroom. I take a breath, crawl into my bed, and let it go. I fall asleep before I even realize it, exhausted from the attack.
Even so, in my dreams, the only person who comes back is the one that I shouldn’t be thinking of. Xi is there, touching me and kissing me. He brought me back from my panic attack. I remember when he stopped it when we were on the North Shore. I remember the way he touched me and made it all better.
And for some reason, my sleep is unlike any before.
10
ALEXANDRA
Bad Ones – Call Me Karizma
“Girls.” Camila claps her hands as she raises her voice. “You will all be asked one question about Xi Epsilon, one by one. If you get it right, you get to come to Zeta Nu with us. If not, you’re going back to your room for the night.”
