Page 60 of Heartless Beloved


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When I come back to, I’m in a recovery position on my left side. I’m against the grass, my head heavy and feeling like I just woke up from an exhausting nightmare.

Two voices are arguing.

“Dude, get the fuck away from her,” I hear Chester. His voice is serious.

“Don’t call medude, I’ll break your fucking legs.”

Xi.

The fog around my brain starts to dissipate as I hear the two.

“I let her leave in your car, and that’s what fucking happens. Now get out of the way—”

“She needs space while she’s having a seizure. She could really hurt herself, nowback. Off.” I’ve never heard Chester talk with such a strong voice.

Unsure of what else happens, the next thing I know, the smell of bergamot and something else I love reaches me. One hand comes to the back of my neck, holding my head up a bit, and the other loosens my tie and pops the first button of my shirt to press against my chest with a strong touch. They’re rough. His hands, I mean. They feel so good on my damp skin.

I take in a sharp breath as I feel myself take control over my body.

“Welcome back to earth, baby chick.” His gravelly voice has a certain softness that I didn’t expect from him. I blink up at Xi’s face right above mine. He places my head on his lap and caresses my hair away from my sweaty forehead.

The sun is shining too brightly, and I’m forced to put my hand in front of my eyes. I feel lethargic, like someone’s just put me into a washing machine and I’ve been tumbling for hours.

“You’re okay,” he says softly, more like an order than anything else.

I blink up at him, struggling to form any word.

“Do you remember what happened?”

I nod. I want to sit up, except I don’t have the strength.

“Alex.” Chester’s worried voice contrasts with the calm strength that is Xi right now. My eyes flip to him, standing right next to us. “I’m going to get water from the car. Don’t move, we’re on the side of the road and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I look around to see he’s pulled over near the entrance of a park, hence the lush grass.

Chester comes jogging back with a bottle of water in his hands.

“Let her sit up,” he snarls at Xi. “She needs to drink.”

Xi helps me into a sitting position, then grabs my waist and pulls me between his legs so my back is against his.

“I told you to leave,” Chester growls as he lowers himself next to me. He brings the bottle to my lips, and I drink, struggling to swallow. “I called Ella,” he explains. “You said not to call 911 last time, so I didn’t. Is that right?”

I nod as he pulls the bottle away from me. “Thanks.” It’s a low whisper without much strength behind it. There’s no point calling 911 because the attacks always pass. As long as I haven’t hurt myself falling or hitting something, there’s nothing to do but wait.

“I took you out of the car and laid you down in a lateral safety position so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. Is…is that okay?”

Bless his heart. The last time I had a seizure from panic in front of him, Ella and Peach were there. They know exactly what to do. I can’t imagine the fear of dealing with me on his own.

I blink, trying to find the strength to answer him. “Thank you.” I take a deep breath. “Can you take me home, please?”

He stares at Xi behind me and repeats, “She wants me to take her home. Now let her go.”

Xi’s hold on my waist tightens before he lets go. He stands up and helps me to my feet. My knees suddenly buckle, and he catches me at the waist again.

“I’m going to carry you.” His matter-of-fact tone makes me shake my trembling head multiple times.

“It’s okay. I don’t want to be carried right now.”

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