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It was agonizing how true her revelation was.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“You do know, babe. Fear is fighting to keep you stagnant, stubborn, and prideful. But what’s pride when it comes to falling and being in love?”
“It has no place.”
“No place at all. So stop fooling yourself into believing it does. The only questions you need to be asking yourself is if you truly love this man enough to take that risk. Is he worth it? Will it hurt worse to love him out loud or keep suppressing your love for him?”
“I do.”
“You do?”
“I love him enough.”
“Then what are you waiting for, Nature?”
“I don’t know. Him, I guess.”
“You won’t even say more than ten words to the man. Are you expecting him to be a fucking mind reader?”
“He used to be.”
“Well, he isn’t anymore. And he promised not to push any boundaries.”
“He’s never cared about boundaries before. Why now?”
“Maybe because you’re carrying his child and stress levels matter. Maybe because he’s waiting for the green light.”
“Or maybe because this isn’t what he wants.”
“Have you convinced yourself of that, too?”
“No. The thought just came to mind.”
“I think he’s simply playing the part until time is on his side. A man of patience. One has to appreciate that.”
Sighing, I shook my head from one side to the other, “I have so many mixed emotions about all of this.”
“If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t let another night past with me sleeping alone in my bed. I’d be jumping that nigga’s bones by nine. You two have a few more weeks before the baby comes. They pretty much ruin all the fun. Not to mention you’re advised to wait six weeks after they get here to fuck again. Just a whole pain in the ass. The last few weeks of your pregnancy don’t have to be spent alone, babe. Go get your man.”
There was no rebuttal. Sitting with a heavy heart and loaded thoughts, I meditated in the silence. As the sinking feeling submerged me in concern, doubt, and conflicted me, the pros and cons of starting anew with Milo began weighing themselves in my head, involuntarily.
“Are you ready to get going?” Shayla broke my train of thought.
Still staring into the blankness, I twirled the necklace that fell right below my collarbone.
“Yes, but first I need to cover the tab.”
“Already handled.”
Dislodged from the trance by her words, I snapped my head in her direction. Remorse plagued me as I was unsure how long I’d drifted.
“Sorry,” I apologized.
“It’s okay, babe. I’m aware that you have a lot on your mind right now. I just hope this conversation shed a little light on how to move forward.”
Tilting my head and pulling in air, I asked, “What would you do?”
