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His brown skin and thick, bushy brows made it obvious who’d taken the lead on this group project. Though his features had yet to settle, I quickly determined that Mason was every bit of his father. My genes were recessive, leaving Milo to paint the blank canvas that we’d go on to name Mason Maurice Domino.
“Damn. This little nigga all me.”
“And to think, you almost missed the big reveal.”
“I feel like all I’ve been doing is apologizing, but I’m sorry. I fell asleep watching TV last night. My phone was on the table.”
“I’d rather see results than hear explanations, Milo.”
“Heard.”
“We have to deliver the sac,” I reminded him.
“Quiet him before he gives himself a headache. I’ll work on releasing the sac.”
Though painful, the passing of my son’s nutritious home that helped him grow over the last nine months was rather swift. Milo had helped me study for enough tests and snuck into enough labs to know the process and how to perform necessary tasks for a successful birth although it wasn’t his area of expertise.
I sandwiched my nipple between my thumb and the rest of my fingers to assist Mason with his latch. Immediately, he gripped my breast with his gums. His little jaws moved in unison as he began sucking, settling himself at once.
* * *
With a full weekas new parents behind us and my son growing to look more and more like his father, I wondered if I’d even show up in his DNA if a test was conducted. As Milo rocked him back and forward, pacing the floor, with his phone glued to his hand, I watched anxiously. Since Mason’s birth, he’d absentmindedly shown up each and every day.
Four nights straight, he’d crashed right beside us as we both adapted to Mason’s schedule. Wholeheartedly, I felt as though it was the only time Mason truly had his undivided attention. Feeling my eyes on him, he turned in my direction, staring back at me as I prepared to speak. Before words exited, he responded to the person on the other end.
“No, that’s not the file, Christin—uh…” He stumbled over his words after allowing the name to slip.
My breath hiked in my chest as I shuffled around my jumbled thoughts for understanding. Tilting his head, he pled with his eyes for forgiveness. He placed his hand over the phone, pulling it away from his ear slightly as he began to explain.
“I have some shit to handle at the office. I’m just trying not to step foot in there if I don’t have to.”
“Hand me Mason. I can get him to sleep. Continuing to hear your voice on the phone won’t help and I’d rather you take that call in another room.”
“Alright. It’ll only take a few minutes. I’ll get him back when I finish up.”
Nodding, I accepted Mason into my arms. I snuggled his body against mine and removed my right breast from the nursing bra that I practically lived in. He settled right in, finding comfort in his mother’s bosom. I, on the other hand, was trying to smolder the fire inside of me.
Knowing that Milo worked so closely with a woman who knew exactly how his dick felt and his semen tasted was triggering. The lines they’d blurred to appease their personal fantasies left me muddled with confusion and finding it fairly hard to trust the fact that their relationship would ever be less than sexual.
He’s not yours to have, I reminded myself, sealing my lids and sighing in disappointment. Our wires were tangled, too, complicating our situation and leaving me with unraveling feelings that intensified each time I saw him with Mason in his arms. Picking my phone up, I texted the one person I knew would understand my dilemma without judgment.
I want this thing between us to work but I don’t know where to begin repairing it.
This is best friend talking, not Dr. Farmer.
More bubbles appeared, and then another message.
You don’t know where to begin because it isn’t your job. You’ve done absolutely nothing to sabotage you and Milo’s future. You’ve only enhanced it. Him, on the other hand, is the one that needs to figure this out. For now, focus. Mason needs you.
I tapped the camera button and took a quick picture of him enjoying another serving of milk. By the time the message was delivered, Milo was walking back into the room.
“My bad. Had some things to take care of at the office.”
“Umm hm.” I nodded, shutting off my phone and tunning into the episode ofThe Blacklistthat I’d shied away from for a moment.
“Umm hm?” he asked, taking a seat on the bed next to me.
“Yes. Umm hm.”
