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The difference between us was that I was dating for marriage. While Milo was willing to knock down every woman who crossed his path, I was selective with who I lent my time and attention to because ultimately, I desired marriage. Any man in my presence for more than a few minutes must exude the qualities I wanted in my husband or he couldn’t share the same space as me.
“I’d rather not,” I tittered, letting him know that a change in the subject would be appreciated.
“Me, either, but tell that nigga thanks.”
Nodding, I smiled. “I see what you did there.”
Conversation rolled freely from our tongues as if we weren’t on the first date. Lemon drops and Martell were plentiful, nonstop until dessert was served and shared among us two. An apple crumble cake that was soft and moist, paired with two scoops of ice cream and glasses of water to wash it all down.
Zane was a good time. He listened when I spoke and was engaged in the conversation, no matter the subject. From women’s healthcare to the pesky hairs that always found their way on my bathroom floor, it didn’t matter. He heard every word that came from my lips.
I listened, too. His exhaustion was apparent, but he wore it well. I craved sleep for him. I craved settlement for him. I craved a good night’s rest and sleep well into the midday.
“I’m not ready to leave,” I sighed, feeling every particle of the lemon drops I’d washed back.
“The restaurant is closing,” Zane shared, waving a hand around.
“I know. Being out of the house just feels… it feels so good.”
“No one said you had to go home, Nature. You just can’t stay here.”
Standing to his feet, he stretched his arm. I stood, taking his hand into mine.
I miss him. I miss my son. I miss Mason. The revelation hit me, dramatically, causing the caving of my chest as a hollowness formed. Tears lined my bottom eyelids, daring me to blink. Behind Zane, I tried swiping them away as quickly as they’d come. The overcast of emotions that soared through me, turning my heart inside out, was unexpected, but left me feeling empty. The happiness I’d discovered over the last two and a half hours was dismantled at the thought of him.
He must miss me too.
Guilt crept in as we continued through the restaurant and out of the door. Valet had garnered a line, patrons pouring out of the establishment at once, all in a hurry to get to their destination. I still had no idea where mine was.
“My home is always an option,” softly, Zane whispered to me as he turned in my direction.
He’d read my thoughts. The gap between us closed. His hands brushed up and down my bare arms, rubbing his scent into my skin and making the bumps rise again. His eyes, they were the dreamiest. I quickly became lost within them, forgetting everything and anything on my mind prior.
His hands moved upward, caressing the curves of my shoulder. And then, up again. My neck, my chin, and finally, he held my cheeks between his palms. Still staring into his eyes, I watched as his face moved closer to mine. And when his lips touched mine, I rejoiced internally, accepting him.
Gracefully, our heads moved in sync as my mouth widened and my tongue got acquainted with his liquor-stained, ice cream-hoarding one. I could still taste the sweetness of the chilled treat, complimenting the Martell.
Completely engulfed in one another, we’d lost ourselves. It wasn’t until the attendant whistled, reluctant to interrupt, letting us both know that our vehicles had arrived. Flushed, I pulled away, clearing the smeared gloss on my lips while trying to compose myself.
“Sorry,” I apologized to the valet team.
Zane cared nothing about our lapse in judgment and lack of movement.
“You don’t have to go home, Nature,” he reminded me.
But Mason, my thoughts screamed, yearning for him just as much as I did the adventure of the night that was awaiting me if I agreed to follow Zane to his home. Because my son’s face was the only one that could fill the void that I felt, knowing my night would end without him, I chose wisely.
“I know. But I… I…”
“Understood.”
He didn’t require an explanation. I wanted to express the newness of motherhood that chipped away at my sanity. I wanted to share with Zane that though I was happy to have a break from Mason, I missed him more than ever. But I didn’t have to. He just…understood.
“Goodnight, Zane.”
“Goodnight, Nature. I’ll call you tomorrow. If you’re not busy, you can roll with me.”
“I’d love to.” Nodding my head, I agreed without knowing any more details. I didn’t need any.
