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Okay, I’m definitely getting him drunk so he’ll open up. I need to know what he’s thinking and if he wants to explore this as much as I do. It won’t be easy, though. Tamzell have a very high tolerance for alcohol.
Zenth scans the main room, looking for somewhere to grab a drink. There’s a small bar in the corner farthest from us, but just next to the elevator there’s a doorway labeled Huffkar, a Mahara word for delicious. It looks like a restaurant. Zenth heads that way. Good. I’d rather sit down somewhere we can talk, rather than stand at a crowded bar.
The door leads to a small, dimly lit room with an empty waitress stand. All four walls are covered in red curtains. The lighting is dim. There’s music playing, but it’s soft. This is perfect.
As I’m taking in the setting, a gorgeous Nebulan parts the fabric to the right of us. “Table for two?”
“Yes,” Zenth says in his gruffest, surliest voice. How have I never noticed how sexy he sounds when he’s all worked up about something?
It’s clear he has feelings about what happened. I just can’t tell if he’s worried, angry, or something else all together.
The Nebulan holds the red curtain behind her open. “Right this way.”
Zenth puts his palm on the small of my back, and I shiver. Fuck, I already want him to touch me again. The second I have the thought, he drops his hand and I miss the warm steadiness of it.
It’s like that touch was unintentional, and the moment he realized he was touching me, he pulled away. I want to get him to lose control again, but one look at his face tells me he’s built walls between us that normally aren’t there. It’s the same expression he wears with his parents. Carefully hiding his hurt behind a cold exterior.
Stair-step levels face a stage in the center of the room. We enter on a middle level with tables below and above us. The atmosphere is opulent and dramatic, with dark red fabric on the walls and black carpet on the floors. The tables are mahogany wood booths with high backs that curve at the top, shielding people from view. Flickering candles give the place a warm glow. It’s incredibly sensual.
The hostess leads us to one of the few empty tables—a booth right in front of the stage. “Your waitress will be by shortly.”
Zenth watches her walk away and a rise of jealousy surges in my gut. Then he blinks a few times, and I realize he wasn’t checking her out, he was zoning out. Probably thinking too much, which means I’ll have to work extra hard to get him to talk through this with me. He withdraws when he’s uncomfortable.
The waitress comes to take our drink orders. We don’t say anything as we wait for her to return. There’s too much I want to say. I’m not sure where to start. Plus, I know when he’s this deep in thought, it’s best to let him have some quiet before I try to pull anything out of him.
When his Vaki beer and my scotch land on the table a few minutes later, I reach my limit on silence. This is Zenth. We can talk about anything. We’ve never held back with each other. Even if other things change, that shouldn’t.
I unfold the black cloth napkin and place it on my lap. “I have a question.”
“Don’t.”
Pain, that’s what I sense behind his voice. I almost obey and go along with his charade of ignoring what happened. I don’t want to hurt him, but I have to know.
“Why?”
His eyes snap to mine. “Why?”
“Yeah, why did you do…that?”
He shakes his head and laughs through his nose. It’s not a happy laugh. “I think you know, Vera.”
“Have you wanted to do that since we got our acceptance letters to Uni?”
The night we found out we got into Uni, Zenth asked to kiss me. It blindsided me. I hadn’t seen it coming, and I didn’t exactly respond well. My brain told me to run, so I did.
Later, I decided he was just riding the high of getting into the Federation. We were excited and a little drunk. He made a mistake in asking. And I made a mistake in being so immature about it.
But I think some part of me knew, if I stayed, I would have kissed him and ruined everything. I cared about our friendship too much to let that happen.
So why did I let it happen now?
He mulls over my question, staring at his drink like it’s a window to another time. “Longer.”
All the air in my lungs leaves my chest. Zenth has been pinning after me for years and I didn’t know. I was clueless.
I also didn’t know he could kiss like that. Didn’t know he could make me so hot that I didn’t care where we were or who saw us. I didn’t know he could rip an orgasm from me that left me so weak I could barely stand.
But, it’s not just about what we did—the physicality of it. It’s so much more than that. Yeah, I’m terrified. I feel like he’s going to be the one to run this time, and I don’t want to lose the best person in my life.
